Sewn Up Hugs

If you read my blog, you know I love me some pockets. And who wouldn't? They are conveniently and ergonomically located at a comfortable distance at your waist. You always have a place for your hands when you don't know what to do with them. You can store your small treasures such as chapstick. I mean, even the word "pocket" is nice. It's like a hug you wrap around your hands that happen to be located in your Levi's. You will never hear a woman complain, "Awe man! This dress has pockets! Dang it!" Ever put on a pair of pants without pockets? It's terrible. Your hands freak out for the whole day as they search for their tiny getaway. Oh, is that just me? NOPE, you do it too.

As I have been in the professional world for a few years now, I have donned many-a-dress pant. Have you noticed that some new dress pants have the pockets sewn shut? This irritates me to no end. How in the world will I know if my hands like their pockets? More importantly, why on earth would someone sew up a hug? It's just wrong. I was thinking about this recently due to a shopping trip with my mom.

For Christmas, my parents' gift to me was some new maternity clothes which was great because I really needed dress pants for work. My mom and I went out shopping and she helped me pick out a nice pair of dark grey, lined trousers - I love that word.  I was excited to have a pair of pants that didn't make me look frumpy at work. The first time I put them on to wear to work, the pockets were sewn shut. Grrrr. I was going to need those pockets ready for active duty - Hello! Chapstick? - so I got my trusty seam ripper from my sewing kit and opened those puppies up. When I went to slide my hands inside, the pockets only went as far as my knuckles!!! I still rock those bad boys, but every day that I wear those dress pants I stand a significant risk of losing my Burt's Bees Pomegranate chapstick. I guess, I like to live dangerously, but I seriously question the integrity of the person who designed such small pockets. I am sure this person is utterly unhappy in life. But I digress.

Here's what I don't understand, why even sew the pockets up in the first place? What a waste of thread. The only conclusion that I have come up with is that clothing companies know how amazing pockets are. So, they sew them up, almost like you would wrap a present to be opened on Christmas morning. When you rip open those seems, the clouds part and the angels from heaven shower you with their 'halleluiahs' as you slip your hands inside the pockets.

I did some Googling and found that companies sew pockets shut because it keeps the clothing looking its best in the store. Whatever. I think that's lame so I am going to go with the Christmas morning theory; plus it is much better than thinking that the clothing companies just want to make your mornings that much more difficult by adding another step to your grooming rituals. (Well, maybe the person who creates small pockets does; we know how unhappy that person is.)  

They just want you to open up your sewn up hug.

Chapstick Challenge

My lips are on fire right now. I am nowhere near my beloved tube of chapstick. All I want is to grasp my beautiful Burt's Bees and slather that goodness on my lips. Before you call the police to inform them of a kidnap, I am safe and sound in the comfort of my home, but I have been without chapstick for approximately 22 hours

Let's rewind and get you up to speed. Last Tuesday, Troy introduced me to my chapstick challenge. He wondered if I could go without chapstick for a full 24 hours. My first thought was panic. I had just applied my chapstick before going to bed and if I accepted his challenge I wouldn't be able to reapply until bedtime the next day! My next thought was that I wasn't sure if I would be up for the challenge. I mean, I always have chapstick on me. You know how some men have an outline of their wallet that has worn through their jeans, so even if their wallet is not in their pocket, it looks like it is? I have had that happen to me except it was a chapstick outline in my front, right pocket of my jeans. I wish I were joking here. I tried to figure out how long I have been nursing this habit and it has been at least since high school. So when I say that I wasn't sure if I could complete the challenge, my fear was valid. I was being asked to change a behavior that I have exhibited for over ten years!

I must have been off my rocker, but I accepted the challenge. I still don't know why. Anyway, the next day was awful. I purposely left my chapstick on my night stand. I couldn't trust myself to put it in my pocket because I already knew that there are times during the day when I subconsciously take it out and put it on. I realized that I was completely addicted because I reached into my pocket for my chapstick probably ten times that day and every other minute, I thought about how chapped my lips were.

I knew I was going to need a plan of attack if I was going to make it through the day. Unfortunately, they don't make Nicorate patches for chapstick addicts. I decided that every time I wanted to take a hit off my chapstick, I would take a drink of water. Besides getting more of my daily fluid intake, I thought that I would take this addiction head on - psychology style. Here was my theory. I learned in my psychology class in college about Freud, and while I think some of his ideas were completely delusional (I am referring the envy he claimed women had to the male genitalia) there was one stage that I thought maybe I fit in, the oral stage. People who fixate on this stage may have issues with smoking, biting their nails, or in my case, habitual chapstick usage. I thought if I could substitute one oral habit (chapstick) for another (drinking water), I might be able to lick this (no pun intended - to my psychologist friends, thank you for laughing at that one). It didn't work. Long story short, I still wanted my chapstick and on top of that, I was in the bathroom twice as much as usual. On the bright side, I was not at all dehydrated.

Chapstick was all I could think about. It was all I wanted. And yet, I could have applied at any time. Why was I putting myself through this? I have two theories:

1. Competition. I have realized that I am a very competitive person. Mostly I am competing with myself, which also explains my perfectionist tendencies. When Troy challenged me to the chapstick challenge, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Though I still think I should get a gold star or a sticker or something for this.

2. Addiction. I seriously think I am addicted to chapstick. It kind of bothers me how my life almost revolves around chapstick and it wasn't until I took this challenge did I realized that I didn't like being chained to this habit.

I did complete the challenge, successfully. At bedtime, I was allowed to put on my chapstick and boy did I put it on. There were probably five even coats on my lips before I turned out the lights. I sighed a sigh of relief as I realized the torture was done. It wasn't until the next morning that I surprised even myself. After getting ready for the day, I went back to my night stand to put on my wedding ring and watch, but I stopped myself when I went to reach for my chapstick. I thought about the torture I went through the day before and wondered if it would be easier today. I let the chapstick spend the day on my nightstand. Not only that, for a full week, I have only been putting on chapstick at bedtime. It is getting easier to go without . . . sort of. It's more like I am getting used to wanting to rip my lips off each day. We'll see how long I last . . . right now I am just trying to survive until bedtime.

Pockets

This past weekend, Troy and I went to his company Christmas party at a restaurant in Minneapolis called Jax. The party has been held there for the past few years. It is really fun to see everyone that Troy works with and their spouses. The food is delicious and the bartenders make great tips that night. My favorite part about the party is that we get to dress up. It almost feels like we are attending a cocktail party from the 50's, which of course, is right up my alley.

I bought a new outfit for the party. A silk, razor-back, black top tucked into a flattering black skirt. I loved the outfit. I felt very classy. The best part about the outfit was - hands down - the pockets in the skirt. Whenever I try on a dress or a skirt and it has pockets, it totally makes the outfit so much better. My friend even had pockets in her wedding dress this summer, which in my opinion, only made her dress that much more awesome.

Pockets in general are like cozy friends. They warm your hands, they hold on to your chap stick and when you are feeling awkward, they allow you to put your fidgety digits in their hidden cove. I had a couple of pairs of dresspants that didn't have pockets. I never knew what to do with myself when I wore them. Where do I put my chapstick? Where do I shove my hands? I eventually got rid of those pants, mostly because I hated that they didn't have pockets. Someone who bought them from Goodwill is now struggling with the same issues I had with them. Although there is a very good possibility that the new pocket-less pants owner is not quite as neurotic as me . . . . . Who even makes pants without pockets? The same people who weren't hugged enough as children. That's who. Because pockets are a wardobe's way of telling us that we are cared for. Who doesn't love that?

Everyone loves pockets. Think of all the great things named after pockets: pocket watch, Polly Pocket, pita pockets, Hot Pockets, etc. I think one of the reasons why pockets are so great is because of the word's German root, which means bag. Just a thought.

With that, I'll leave you with a song:

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away.
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day.

See, even Perry Como thought pockets were awesome.

Chap Stick

I can not believe I have written thirty-some-odd posts without talking about chap stick! I have a severe addiction to chap stick. If you don't already know this about me, we must not be friends . . . or even acquaintances . . . honestly, we've probably never met. I am not exactly sure when this addiction started. I want to say it began in my late junior high years, but it is safe to say that by the time I was established in high school, I was known for always having chap stick on me.

I remember a sad and lonely time before I began my love affair with chap stick. I was riding my bike, one crisp, fall day. My lips were really dry and so obviously I kept licking them, only exasperating the problem and the whole time I was thinking, "I hate this feeling . . . a lot. I don't want to feel like this again." Maybe that's when I made my move. Regardless of when I started, once I began, I was hooked. One time, my sister, Laura and I were in the car, (probably on our way to somewhere awesome) when I had a small panic attack. I quickly checked my pockets and realized that I did not have my chap stick!! I promptly turned the car around to retrieve my beloved, who was waiting for me in my room.

My chap stick lives in one of two places: my pocket or my night stand. When I am ready for bed, it goes on my night stand because obviously I am going to want to reapply before I go to bed. After I get dressed the next morning, it goes in my right pocket. I actually have a pair of jeans that have a small rectangular wear-mark from my chap stick, kinda like dad jeans and the worn back pocket where their wallet goes. Same thing. Although, there are rare situations where my chap stick might live in my purse if I am wearing a dress and there have been a few times where I put it in my socks if my pants didn't have pockets. By the way, that's not weird, that's improvising.

I am pretty brand loyal to my chap stick, although I have made a few switches in the fifteen-ish years I have been addicted. I started out with Lip Smackers Dr. Pepper chap stick . . . obviously. Then I went to Blistex Silk and Shine. Troy didn't like the way that one smelled so I have recently switched to Vanilla Soft Lips. When I put on my chap stick now, Troy's sense of smell doesn't make him form furrowed brow nor does he roll the windows down in the car, which I really appreciate in the winter months.

Troy doesn't really understand my "need" for chap stick. He has one tube of the original Chapstick brand that he has probably had for five years or longer. He puts it on only a few times a year, usually in the winter, and only before bed. I always ask him to wait for me to put it on. I may or may not think it is a little bit sexy. Before you judge me . . . just don't judge me. It's the little things that help make a relationship work and if you make fun of me, I will body slam you.

My friend, Krista, told me about a friend of hers who also had a chap stick addiction, and she decided to quit cold turkey. Apparently after about a month, her lips blistered up!! They looked really gross and were painful. Eventually she healed and now she is proud to say she is chap stick free, using it only sparingly, much like Troy does. Krista - who shares my chap stick addiction - and I decided that it isn't worth it. We decided to be a slave to chap stick over having our lips blister up.

This summer, I started thinking about how much money I spend on chap stick. I started to keep track, and then it kinda made me depressed, because I know down the road I could have bought like 50 pairs of shoes with that money, so I stopped.

So, I guess this is the part where I need to address I have a problem. Here it goes:
Hi, my name is Pam and I am addicted to chap stick.
Hi Pam.
I am aware that I have a problem.
Good for you, Pam.
I am also aware that I do not have the desire to quit.
Umm, excuse me???
When I die, please bury me with a fresh tube of chap stick.
I don't think this group is for you if you are unwilling to change.
Okay, later suckers!