Panera = Boat Loads of Women

I met Troy for lunch today and he said I could pick where we would eat. After many, many hours of pondering and weighing the pros and cons, I decided on Panera. In case you can't read my sarcasm, I was being facetious. Panera is one of my favorite places to eat when you want a quick bite. I love how cozy it is in there and I love soup since I am really an eighty-three-year-old woman living in a twenty-seven-year-old's body. Panera is not one of Troy's favorite places, but he doth not protest too much when I suggest it. He does have a theory about Panera though which makes him wary to enter . . . chicks love Panera.

That's the theory. That only women and the men they drag there eat at Panera Bread Co. I thought this was ridiculous until I looked around the eight-by-ten square foot part of the restaurant we were eating in. There were approximately twenty five people in that section. Three of them were men, and one of them was Troy. That is crazy! Troy said when he was in line to order, there were about fifteen people - two men, one being himself. All the men that I saw there were accompanied by a woman, and it didn't look like a minor coffee date. It was obvious these men were in committed relationships.

Troy's theory holds a lot of water. For starters, I love Panera and I also happen to be a woman. Interesting. Many of my friends love Panera too. They coincidentally share my gender as well. I went to Panera's website and wanted to learn a little more about them to see why this theory seems to be true. In the 'About Us' section there is a paragraph describing who Panera Bread is. Let me write this out for you:

We are Panera. We are bakers of bread. We are fresh from the oven. We are a symbol of warmth and welcome. We are a simple pleasure, honest and genuine. We are a life story told over dinner. We are a long lunch with an old friend. We are your weekday morning ritual. We are the kindest gesture of neighbors. We are home. We are family. We are friends.

If this isn't written for a woman, than I'll shave my head and walk backwards. This is foreplay for women. Plain and simple. Everything about that paragraph is appealing to me. Reading that makes me want to go back to that place for dinner and then hope I get invited for a sleepover. I feel like I know who the real Panera is. I mean, I think I am ready for an intimate relationship with Panera Bread.

Now, when Troy reads Panera's bait for women (also known as the 'About Us' section), he is going to laugh the laugh he uses when he reads something that he thinks is completely ridiculous. Let's be honest, if I wasn't so blinded with my love for Panera, I would think the same thing. If I wasn't completely head over heels for Panera, I would think that paragraph was written by a forty-five year-old cheeseball who might still live at home with his mom. Alas, I my love for Panera is to strong.

There is a one wrench that needs to be thrown into the mix to fairly test this theory. Troy does go to Panera often with two of his guy friends. They meet there pretty regularly. As part of my research, I asked if he really likes to the food. He said it was okay, but really they just meet there because it is centrally located and there are more vegetarian options for one of the dudes. Interesting.

I still need to do more research on this topic, but I have to say, judging by what I saw this afternoon, I can't say that Troy's theory is wrong. What we need to do now is harness this powerful knowledge. All you single fellas out there . . . get your butts over to your local Panera Bread Co and pick up a lady friend today! Apparently that is the female watering hole. Might as well take advantage of it.