Baby Fever

Why is it that when you are married, people assume that once you take off your wedding dress, the immediate process of procreation should begin? I mean, I think you should at least be allotted time to return the tux and maybe make it to the airport for your honeymoon. I had a lot of people ask me about our non-existent baby right after we were married. Usually I don't mind because sometimes I think it's fun to think about, as long as it doesn't become excessive. Then there are other times when I find it a bit annoying . . . like after a baby shower. Ten bucks says someone will come up to me and say, "Sooooooo, when are you going to have one?" Trust me, you don't want to take that bet. You will lose because it happens every time. I actually had a person I work with ask - and I quote - "Pam, when are you going to get knocked up?" First of all, gross. Who says that? Secondly, it's none of your beeswax so get back to work.

Now, I have been to the Robert Brown Center, so I know all about the birds and the bees and that the stork doesn't actually deliver babies. Plus, as an added bonus, I got "the sex talk" from my mom the night before my class went. For those of you who are not from the Chicago-land area, the Robert Crown Center is a life-scarring event for fifth graders. It was (at least at the time) a field trip that every fifth grade student took to learn about all that stuff that made a ten-year-old want to shrink in his Nirvana concert tee, and just when you think you can't take anymore . . . they show you the birthing video. I was convinced for a good ten years that I would just adopt - that is the kind of effect the Robert Crown Center has on you.

That being said, sometimes I think you can "catch" pregnancy like the H1N1. Every time a friend shares with me that she is pregnant, three other women come out of the woodwork and share the same news. About two years ago, I personally knew five pregnant women, three of which were really close friends of mine. Then there was a lull. Apparently, the epidemic was on a down hill slope, until the snow melted and low and behold, the fever was running rapid again. We have two friends who just delivered babies within the past two weeks. Two friends from church are due this fall. Two woman I work with are also "with child." I think the Robert Crown Center forgot to mention that conception may be an airborne virus. I am seriously thinking about wearing a Sars mask in public. I already don't drink the water at work . . . it's too risky.

This kind of attitude has people like my sister and my mother-in-law fearful that Troy and I will never have kids, but some day we too will catch the virus. I know that parenting is rewarding, so before all the moms wag their fingers at me, know that the reason we are putting this off is because of how hard you work - well that and the few families that we know whom have children that make my uterus shrivel up . . . which reminds me, I need to go buy those medical masks . . .