The Little German

It doesn't matter who you are or where you are in your walk of life, everyone has relationships. And relationships are messy. It's kind of like when you make chocolate chip cookies. You make a big, giant mess of the kitchen but when you're all done you have these yummy treats to enjoy. In case you didn't pick up on my blatant life metaphor of relationships, the moral is that they take work but are obviously worth the effort. However, regardless of how well-maintained your relationship is, you are going to run into conflict. Duh.

I know that it is prideful, but don't you wish that sometimes you could know if you were the winner in disagreements? I think it would be great if there was a ref who knew everything about each side of both point of views and then made a completely objective opinion that would then be set in stone. Then the issue is put to rest. Case closed. I remember there use to be these advertisements for a German beer and the slogan was "Take home a little German today," then there was this fantastic looking, old, German man wearing lederhosen. In my mind, he should be the ref. He lives in the pantry and when you have an issue, you just go to the pantry and ask the little German.

Are you and your spouse arguing about whether to watch a chick flick or a bloody war movie? Ask the Little German.

Are you and your brother in a disagreement about who sweeps the backyard for dog poop? Ask the Little German.

Are you and your mother fighting about side dishes for Christmas dinner? Ask the Little German.

I think if we had the Little German in our pantry, his advice would definitely be sought out. I can see Troy being frustrated with me over my anal tendencies. The scenario would go something like this:

Troy: "Little German, Pam freaked out again when I came home from work and wanted to relax in our bed. What is her deal? I've worked a long day and didn't sleep well."

The Little German: "Guten tag, Troy! The reason Pam was upset is because she just washed the sheets and made the bed; however, you are right, she has overreacted and in this case you should be allowed to lounge in your bed. I side with you."

**Case Closed**

Of course, I would also seek his counsel and it would go a little something like this:

Me: "Little German, Troy has been watching sports non-stop. If I have to watch anymore sports, I am going to lose my mind."

The Little German: "Willkommen, Pam! Here's the deal, you're right, he watches too much sports, but the fact of the matter is that he is not going to change, so you should go out and buy another pair of shoes."

**Case Closed**


Anywho, I think that would be awesome.