Self-Control

"The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is now law."

Galatians 5:22

I used to be a salty-loving kind of a gal. Get a plate of chili-cheese fries in front of me and I would fight you for them. I never really understood all the jokes and memes about women's obsession with chocolate - and then I got pregnant. Suddenly, sweets - especially chocolate - was a round the clock craving. After I had Sadie, lots of friends dropped off meals for us and many of these meals had a dessert, so I had become accustomed to eating some kind of sugar almost every day. When the meals stopped (and so too, the desserts) my cravings did not. One time, I actually made my Mema's chocolate-chocolate chip cookies from scratch because I wanted something sweet so badly. I thought about buying a bag of Hershey Kisses and just having one or two a day, but I knew I would eat the whole bag in one sitting. I had a problem. I had no self-control when it came to sweets in the house. I had to quit cold turkey. No sweets in the house until I could control myself.

While the idea of self-control of chocolate and sweets is amusing, I realized this week that I had a lot of work to do with self-control but it was much bigger and more important than chocolate. You read about how I had (and sometimes still have) a problem when it came to asking for help and I was (and sometimes still am) allowing Satan to creep in and fill my head with filthy lies about my parenting, my marriage, myself and my relationship with the Lord. I realized this week as I was prepping for this final installment of the fruits of the Spirit, that I needed to have more self-control when it came to those issues. I needed to make sure that I was not allowing myself to sink back into self-pity.

Proverbs 25:28 says, "Like a city whose walls are broken through, is a person who lacks self-control." When Satan breaks through our walls and we allow ourselves to believe the blatant lies of The Creeper, our city - our hearts - become compromised. Instead of rejecting these lies, we let them fester and they slowly start to destroy us. We have the strength within us to defeat The Creeper whose only plan for our lives is destruction, but this requires the control of our thoughts and actions.

Romans 8:6 tell us, "The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace." The good news is that as Christians, the Holy Spirit lives within us as well as all the qualities that the Spirit has - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When we tap into these attributes, in this case we are specifically focusing on self-control, we have the power (and the responsibility) to tell Satan, "No! We will not believe your lies any longer!" Titus 2:11-12 says, "For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age."

So just as I had to put the kibosh on sweets in the house, I also need to take responsibility for not allowing the Creeper to come in and sabotage my heart. Just as I need to show restraint for sweets, I need to show restraint on allowing my mind to become polluted with filth. I need to lean on God's Spirit to help me control my thoughts and remind me that I am valuable to Him and His purposes in my life.

Weekly Parent Goal:
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to control our mind and create a clean heart.

This was one of my personal goals that I listed in the Faithfulness post but this time, I have a different spin on it. We learned in Romans 8:6 that the Spirit can control our mind and do so with peacefulness. When those negative thoughts come into our minds - and all parents hear them -  we need to stand up to The Creeper and tell him to beat it! We need to control our minds to reject the filth he is trying to spread across our thoughts and focus instead on our Father who loves us. We need to ask the Lord to help us control our minds and focus on His plans, not Satan's or our own.

This week's application for kids:
1. Blessing your kiddos.

Kids are naturally impulsive and the same it true for their words. This blessing from Mary Ruth Swope in The Power of Blessing your Children is a blessing of pleasant words which takes a great deal of self-control not only for our little ones, but for adults too. Pray this blessing over your kids:

In the name of Jesus Christ:

I bless you with an understanding of how important it is in life to set a guard over your mouth and to keep watch over the words that come from your lips. You will not speak negative and hurtful words that cause pain and wound spirits. 

May you learn quickly that a soft answer turns away wrath and that words thoughtfully spoken bring great rewards with them. You will learn to express pleasant words, profitable advice, and kind speech in all your conversations.

2. Try and activity that explains self-control to your kids.
Literary Example

One of my favorite books to read to my students was My Mouth is a Volcano! by Julia Cook. It talks about a boy who has a hard time interrupting which is something that most kids can understand. This book a great way to teach children how to engage in polite conversation and understand that everybody's words are important and should be heard. It is a great way to teach kids about self-control when it comes to their words.

Sesame Street Clip

I don't know why we pay for cable. If there was a package that only offered ESPN, HGTV and PBS, it would be called the Carlson Bundle. Zachary loves PBS and next to Dinosaur Train, Sesame Street is his favorite. I love how they have celebrities on the show to help explain the word of the day. in this clip, Ian McKellen and Cookie Monster are showing an example for the word "restrain" which ties in nicely with self-control. After I watched this with Zachary, we talked about how sometimes we have to wait - even if we really really want to do something. However, he is two so I know this is something we have to discuss every day - let's be honest, sometimes every minute.

Excuse for Sweets

Bring on another baking activity! Making cookies or brownies is a great way to show self-control because you have to wait for the end result. Plus, you get to eat something delicious. After you have baked your delicious treats, talk about how we have to show self-control by not eating all of the treats at once. If we did that, we would have a stomach ache and sweets are a once in a while treat so we wouldn't get the nutrients we need from eating only cookies. Talk about other ways we have to show self-control.

3. Weekly Scripture Challenge.

Though this scripture is a little longer than the ones I have posted in the past, I think this verse is a great reminder to us about the power that we have inside us. So this week's verse is the same that I mentioned above. Try to memorize this verse this week as a reminder of our focus this week and encourage your children to do so too!

"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age."

Titus 2:11-12  

***I can hardly believe that two months ago I simply said "Yes" to God. He gently nudged me to write a series of blogs about how to parent with the fruits of the Spirit as a way to encourage moms but I had no idea that He would be working in me too. I have been stretched, broken, healed and exhilarated as I went through this journey. You as readers have also been a blessing to me with your words of encouragement and also your willingness to share your hearts with me. Thank you! It is amazing how simple this task was. All I was asked to do was to write - which is something I love. I did not know that I would come out stronger and feeling more loved and valued than ever before. My prayer for you is that when you feel that nudging from the the Lord, that you would emphatically say "Yes!" and allow the Lord to work through you. 

Maybe for some of you that nudging might be to open your hearts to Jesus. Maybe He has been calling you to reach out to Him. If you were reading this series and don't have a personal relationship with the Lord, I encourage you to take His gift of salvation. It is for everyone, no matter what your past may look like. We are all sinners and no one is deserving of His mercy, but He gave it to us anyway when Jesus died on the cross for our sins. There are no strings attached. His love is for all of us. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." By accepting Jesus into your heart, not only will you get the ultimate gift of spending eternity with Him in heaven, but you will also be filled with the Holy Spirit who will never leave you, who will help you in times of trouble and who will fill you with all the attributes that we talked about during this journey: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Mary Ruth Swope has a prayer of salvation at the end of her book. Pray this prayer in faith and receive Jesus in your heart:

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. I am a sinner. I ask You to forgive me of my sin. I confess that Jesus is Lord. And I believe in my heart that You raised Him from the dead. Thank You for coming into my heart, for giving me Your Holy Spirit as You have promised, and for being Lord over my life. Amen.