DIY Blocks

Growing up, my family attended Salem Baptist Church in Orland Park, IL. The building is still there but the church is under a different name now. In it's heyday, our church boasted of it's family programming. Sunday School, Vacation Bible School and Pioneer Clubs made Salem a popular place with the youth. My earliest memory of SBC was when I was 4. My grandparents started going to Salem before my parents did because we had not yet moved to Orland Park. One weekend my sister, Laura and I had slept over at my grandparents house and Sunday morning we all went to church. While Laura and I each held on to my grandpa's index fingers, he walked us down the green-carpeted hallway to the Beginners Class. Laura was too young for that class but because it was our first time there and she didn't want to be separated from me, the teachers let her join too. My grandpa gently hung up our little pink coats on the wooden pegs outside our class and told us he would be back to pick us up after the service. That memory is my most favorite of all my memories at Salem. I will never forget holding my Pepa's finger and looking way up at the face of that tall man as we walked down the hall. I am sure it was a sweet sight to see with two little girls in dresses quickly moving their little legs to keep up with my handsome grandpa.

The Beginners Class was a cheerful room with lots of activities, songs, games and smiling teachers. I also have one random memory of an older man who didn't have a thumb nail. I remember sitting on his lap during the story time and wondering if I should touch the thumb or not. I guess I didn't get a lot out of that Bible lesson. But I digress. There were quite a few kiddoes who trampled through that classroom and I would be willing to bet that those people have fond memories of a few or all of the following:

The fabulous felt board. I always loved it when I was able to put one of the Bible characters (or heck even the basket of fish and bread!) up on the felt board. It was like magic how they stayed up there!

Doris Bell's Barbie Shoes. One of our teachers was named Doris Bell and she dressed like a classy Dolly Parton. Every Sunday she wore peep-toe heels with no back so they moved like flip flops. I didn't even know they made shoes like that for anyone who wasn't manufactured at Mattel.

Eunice Utt's smile. Mrs. Utt was another one of our teachers. Every memory I have of her shows her wearing pearls and a long sleeved, lilac colored, belted dress, though I am sure her closet had more of a variety. She was always smiling. I am also fairly certain that she had a crush on my grandpa ever since that first day he dropped Laura and I off at Sunday School.

Mr. Berg's Bass Voice. One of the songs we sang was called 'Deep and Wide.' Mr. Berg was the dad of my friend Dale, who was also in the class with me. Mr. Berg sang 'Deep and Wide' the best because his voice was so low. I remember the first time I heard him sing I thought, how in the world does he get his voice to sound like that?! I am including this fantastic video of the song for those of you who are unfamiliar or for those of you who want to relive our Sunday School days.

The Cardboard Blocks. Man-oh-man. These blocks were the BEST and my most favorite thing to play with in the Beginners Class by a landslide. They were kept in a big cabinet with two large sliding doors which were usually locked. (I know because I loved those blocks so much, I always tried to open the doors to get them out.) The blocks had a red brick pattern on them and each block was about the size of a small shoe box.

Those cardboard blocks have always stuck with me. I thought it would be great for Zachary to have memories of building towers with such great blocks. Unfortunately, the mark up for sweet children's toys is crazy, so I decided to make my own and document it so you can make them too!

First you'll need a bunch of boxes and the sturdier your box, the longer it will last. I had quite a few boxes of diapers from when Zachary was a newborn and didn't yet fit into his cloth diapers. We also buy our baby wipes a CostCo where you can get seven huge bags of wipes in one giant box so we had a lot of those empty boxes. Then, you'll need scissors, tape, Con-Tact paper and some kind of wrapping paper so that your kids aren't really playing with empty diaper boxes. I went to Michael's and found bulletin board paper that looked like bricks. They had other selections too, but I wanted the brick pattern for nostalgia purposes.

Size 1 and 2 Diapers! I can't believe Z's tush fit in those!

Take a box and lay it out on top of your paper, like you are going to wrap it as a present, but you aren't going to cut the amount of paper that you normally would to wrap a present. I didn't want the sides to have folded angles because it would make the box look more like a present and less like a brick. Pull the paper so there is about two inches on each side of the box then cut the paper from the roll. Fold the paper around the box and tape down. There should be about two inches of excess paper one the two faces of the box that are not completely covered by paper. Fold in the corners on the sides of the box and tape down. You should have four sides that are completely covered in paper and two sides that are not. The next step will cover everything. Unroll your tube of paper and put box on top like you did in the beginning as though you were going to wrap it, but this time, put the unfinished part length-wise. Leave about two inches in each side of the box and cut the paper from the roll.

The unfinished part is length-wise to the paper.

Fold down each side so that the paper that you just cut is now the exact width of the length of the box. Tape down one side of the paper and then continue to wrap your box around the paper. As you are wrapping, you may find that you need to refold the paper to make sure that it doesn't stick out past your box.

When you are ready to complete wrapping your box, make three tape rolls and put them on the wrong side of the paper and press the paper down onto the box. This way you won't be able to see tape. It is okay it if doesn't lay perfectly flat; the next step is to put Con-Tact paper over the box which will flatten everything out and make a nice finished look.

The tape rolls (not on the wrong side of the paper, but this way you can see them.)

Roll out your Con-Tact paper in the same way you rolled out your bulletin board paper. Hopefully the width of the Con-Tact paper is larger than your box otherwise you will have to repeat this step twice by overlapping the Con-Tact paper. While the wax paper is still on the Con-Tact paper make sure that it will completely cover the four sides of your box and then cut it from the roll. Slowly peel the wax paper off of the adhesive part. Honestly, this part is the biggest pain. The first box I covered in Con-Tact paper was my downfall. I pulled the paper too quickly and ripped the paper in a ton of parts which meant then that I had to scrape off little bits of wax paper. Ugh! So learn from my hastiness; go slowly. The next trick I figured out was that it was easier to pull the wax paper off if there was a little weight on the end of the adhesive part. Since using my arm meant peeling it off later, I would put the box down and then hold onto the box as I peeled the rest of the wax paper off. Then slowly roll your box down the Con-Tact paper until all four sides are covered.

Torture yourself long enough to have enough space to put the box down.

 "But rectangular prisms have six sides, not four!" Yes, you are right, my little geometry experts! So let's take care of the remaining two naked sides. After you have rolled the Con-Tact paper around your box, you will have left over parts on the edges. Cut a triangle in each of the corners and then fold down the tabs.

Triangle cut into the corners.

Next you will cut out a piece of Con-Tact paper that it will cover the remaining exposed paper. You can make this a little smaller than the surface area of the two remaining sides because you already folded over some of the Con-Tact paper in the previous step. You will find that peeling the wax paper off of these small pieces of Con-Tact paper is SOOOO much easier than the large sheet you did previously. I found that the easiest way to make sure that you put the Con-Tact on without any air bubbles was to press down the top part of the adhesive to the box and then pull the paper down to make sure it is straight.

Repeat this step for the remaining naked side and then sit back and marvel at your amazing work! Your kids will love them! If you have good sturdy boxes, they will last a long time thanks to the droll-barrier of the Con-Tact paper AND they were super cheap. Let's break down my costs. I bought the bulletin board paper at Michael's for $8.99 (bonus points if you use a coupon!) I bought the Con-Tact paper for $5.79 at Target. For about $15, I was able to make four large boxes at $3.75 per block and they are a great size and they have a droll-proof cover. I win. I really do win, I can't wait to build with them. Oh wait . . . I already have.

Bam! My DIY blocks rock!

 

I'm Sorry, Mom

They say that the job of a mother is the most delayed gratifying job on the planet. Now that I have been a mom for almost a year I have quickly realized that "they" are correct. I have also used this year as a time to reflect about my own mom and her hardships. So, with Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I thought I would share a few apologies to my mom based on what I have learned and experienced during my first year as a mom. Pattie Kohler, this is for you.

Mom, I am sorry for my flatulence. Last night, after I gave my little man a bath, I was drying off his bottom and getting ready to put his diaper on when he let out a toot that I swear I could taste. After I finished gagging, I looked at his sweet face and realized that he had no idea that it is considered poor manners to fart in someone's face. Then I realized that Baby Pam probably did that to my mom. So, Mom, I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I know when you looked at my chubby cheeks as a wee babe, I did not know what I was doing but I would like to apologize for that now. And while we are on the topic of bodily functions . . .

Mom, I am sorry for designing your outfits out of my pee/poop/spit up/split peas/rice

Baby Pamela got all the nasties clean off before Mom did.

cereal/formula/etc. There have been days this past year when I finally sat down after putting Zachary to bed and assessed myself, I realized I was wearing food from every meal Zachary consumed that day. There was no such thing as "I'll wear these jeans again tomorrow." In fact, I keep a Tide stick in the diaper bag for all the times Z has spit up on me. I have had to change clothes countless times because newborn poop is like something from out of this world and it cannot be contained by a mere diaper.  So Mom, I am sorry that as a baby I made you look like you just walked through a cafeteria during a food fight and I am sorry that I treated your clothes like a public restroom. That was very disrespectful and I humbly apologize.

Mom, I am sorry that I ruined your ta-tas. Yep, I went there. I am getting a little personal here folks, I wouldn't say that my girls were ever spectacular, but breastfeeding has completely ruined them. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed nursing. It is nice to be able to sit down for a little res-bit and snuggle with my baby - especially now that he moves around so much, but good grief! I need to tape them up like Roberta did in the movie Now and Then. (That reference will probably only make sense to girls who grew up during the 90's.) Not only are the ta-tas tainted but my whole body has completely changed like the width of my rib cage to my hips. I don't recognize this thing I am living in anymore. So Mom, I am sorry that as a baby I made you feel like an alien in your own body.

No pictures please, it was a rough night.

Mom, I am sorry I made you feel like an extra as a zombie in the Walking Dead. The first few months of being a new mom are probably similar to being in the trenches at war. You can't sleep for more than an hour or two at a time, you are always on guard, always hungry and weep for your former life. At least you get to snuggle with a cute baby instead of a musket. I definitely suffered from the Baby Blues but I think a lot of that was sleep deprivation. It wasn't until Zachary started sleeping through the night that I felt like a "normal" person again - and I use that word very loosely because I am still in survival mode. Thankfully, I did have you (I am speaking to my mom here since I don't believe my entire fan base was in my home the first few weeks after Zachary was born, but I wouldn't really call myself "lucid" at that point either, so I could be wrong; if so, then I am also speaking to those who were present.) to help me and allow me to get 4 hours of sleep (which was like heaven at the time). So Mom, I am sorry that as a baby I woke you up every three hours just so I could ruin your ta-tas. I was so inconsiderate to not think about how you just pushed a watermelon out of your body and would probably like to rest.

I know what my mom is saying as she is reading this. "It was all worth it and I would do it again." When we are in the difficult moments, it is good to remember that. The thing is that babies are rude and selfish little blobs that don't understand that people don't like to be bothered between the hours of 11 pm and 6 am. But, there are so many things that make all the hard stuff worth it. Like the little teeny toes that poke out of the swaddling blanket, the gas-producing giggle that happens at a 3am feeding, the giant smile you get when you walk into the room, or when your sweet baby rests his head on your shoulder while he sucks his thumb. In those moments you forget about the hard stuff and your cup runneth over. You realize that Pattie is right, it's all worth it, but is doesn't hurt to hear a "thank you" and an "I'm sorry" every now and then.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I am sorry I was such a baby. Thank you for loving me.

I mean, it helped that I was so cute.

Carts, Carts, Crappy Carts

Friday night was a crazy night in the Carlson Casa. After putting Zachary to bed, I thought I would go to the grocery store since Troy was engrossed in the Blackhawks game. (It's playoff season which means there is always a lot of yelling, clapping and pacing in front of the television during these games; and I am not talking about me or Zachary.) It is a rare occurrence that I get to use both hands and grocery shopping without the boys has come to be somewhat of a treat. Plus, I had actually made an effort with my appearance that day and thought I should probably show off my straightened hair and eyeliner to perfect strangers who don't care. 

I grabbed my wallet and hopped into my G6 which I hardly ever drive any more because I bought the coup when I was still dating Troy. The idea of purchasing a sedan so that I could one day put a car seat in the back was so far removed in my mind, though now I wish I would have opted for the four door. But, I liked how sporty the 2-door looked and knew it would be my last "cool" car before I entered responsible adulthood. Well, responsible adulthood came knocking last May 30th and now my cool car sits in the driveway, unloved because it is a pain in the you-know-what to get the car seat and the wee babe in the back. But I digress . . . I decided to take my cool car and head over to our 24 hour Kroger at 9 pm, the time that most young adults are just getting ready to go out and go dancing or hang out with their friends. Meanwhile, I am struggling to stay awake on my 2 mile drive to get the family's weekly groceries.

Once I got to Kroger, I sat in my car with my eyes closed for a minute, reveling in the quiet and wondering if I should have just taken my straightened hair to bed instead of the grocery store. Then I realized that I would very easily fall asleep right there in the car so I had better get my buns perpendicular. Besides, maybe the motorized carts would be available for a tired mom's use. (I will shamefully admit, I honestly thought about using the motorized carts, but you will be pleased to know that I got around the store on with my own leg power.)

6 Month CostCo Cutie

I walk over to the cart bay and grab the cart closest to me. As I started to wheel it into the store, I was shocked that I picked a good cart! I don't know what it is, but I am notorious for picking the worst cart in the bunch. There are times when I go through 4 carts - no joke -  only to pick the 5th cart that is still crappy but will at least get the job done. When I shop with Z, I tend to discard more than if I am not with him because so many of those dang safety belts are knotted, tangled, caught in the metal bars, missing, or gross. So when I grabbed this cart, I was half tempted to go buy a lottery ticket because I thought it was my lucky day! . . . . . Then I turned the cart and the whole thing almost tipped. Typical. Good thing I didn't buy a lottery ticket. I finished my shopping with the crappy cart, mostly because I was too tired to get another one, but I woke up the next morning with Popeye-like biceps due to my mad-style maneuvering cart skills.

Why is it so tough to get a quality cart? Why does every cart have a wheel that jumps, or twine spun around on the wheels, or garbage in the cart, or a missing plastic handle bar, or rattles so loud people in the parking lot can hear your cart, or a wheel that refuses to spin, etc., etc., etc.? Does anyone ever check the carts? Do they go in for a routine inspection? Why the inhumanity?! I just want to haul my groceries around the store in a quiet and smooth fashion!

Honestly, if I were in charge of marketing for these grocery chains, I wouldn't focus on low prices. I would advertise how awesome my carts were and what an enjoyable experience you will have steering them all over my store. If I saw an ad like that, I would shop at that store. Done and done.

Alas, there are bigger fish to fry in this crazy thing we call life. So, I will leave you with this one tip to help make your crappy cart situation more manageable. When you go to grab a cart and is links up with another and you can't free one cart, pick up the handle so the back two wheels lift up and then let go of the handle to drop to the ground. When you go to pull the cart, only one will pull away. I wish I could take credit for that, but the lady at the Starbucks inside the Kroger told me that after she saw me struggle with a cart and then consequently give up to get a latte.

If you have never had a problem with a crappy cart then you can just disregard what you have read here and you should probably go buy a lottery ticket and then split your winnings with me since it was my idea.