Chap Stick

I can not believe I have written thirty-some-odd posts without talking about chap stick! I have a severe addiction to chap stick. If you don't already know this about me, we must not be friends . . . or even acquaintances . . . honestly, we've probably never met. I am not exactly sure when this addiction started. I want to say it began in my late junior high years, but it is safe to say that by the time I was established in high school, I was known for always having chap stick on me.

I remember a sad and lonely time before I began my love affair with chap stick. I was riding my bike, one crisp, fall day. My lips were really dry and so obviously I kept licking them, only exasperating the problem and the whole time I was thinking, "I hate this feeling . . . a lot. I don't want to feel like this again." Maybe that's when I made my move. Regardless of when I started, once I began, I was hooked. One time, my sister, Laura and I were in the car, (probably on our way to somewhere awesome) when I had a small panic attack. I quickly checked my pockets and realized that I did not have my chap stick!! I promptly turned the car around to retrieve my beloved, who was waiting for me in my room.

My chap stick lives in one of two places: my pocket or my night stand. When I am ready for bed, it goes on my night stand because obviously I am going to want to reapply before I go to bed. After I get dressed the next morning, it goes in my right pocket. I actually have a pair of jeans that have a small rectangular wear-mark from my chap stick, kinda like dad jeans and the worn back pocket where their wallet goes. Same thing. Although, there are rare situations where my chap stick might live in my purse if I am wearing a dress and there have been a few times where I put it in my socks if my pants didn't have pockets. By the way, that's not weird, that's improvising.

I am pretty brand loyal to my chap stick, although I have made a few switches in the fifteen-ish years I have been addicted. I started out with Lip Smackers Dr. Pepper chap stick . . . obviously. Then I went to Blistex Silk and Shine. Troy didn't like the way that one smelled so I have recently switched to Vanilla Soft Lips. When I put on my chap stick now, Troy's sense of smell doesn't make him form furrowed brow nor does he roll the windows down in the car, which I really appreciate in the winter months.

Troy doesn't really understand my "need" for chap stick. He has one tube of the original Chapstick brand that he has probably had for five years or longer. He puts it on only a few times a year, usually in the winter, and only before bed. I always ask him to wait for me to put it on. I may or may not think it is a little bit sexy. Before you judge me . . . just don't judge me. It's the little things that help make a relationship work and if you make fun of me, I will body slam you.

My friend, Krista, told me about a friend of hers who also had a chap stick addiction, and she decided to quit cold turkey. Apparently after about a month, her lips blistered up!! They looked really gross and were painful. Eventually she healed and now she is proud to say she is chap stick free, using it only sparingly, much like Troy does. Krista - who shares my chap stick addiction - and I decided that it isn't worth it. We decided to be a slave to chap stick over having our lips blister up.

This summer, I started thinking about how much money I spend on chap stick. I started to keep track, and then it kinda made me depressed, because I know down the road I could have bought like 50 pairs of shoes with that money, so I stopped.

So, I guess this is the part where I need to address I have a problem. Here it goes:
Hi, my name is Pam and I am addicted to chap stick.
Hi Pam.
I am aware that I have a problem.
Good for you, Pam.
I am also aware that I do not have the desire to quit.
Umm, excuse me???
When I die, please bury me with a fresh tube of chap stick.
I don't think this group is for you if you are unwilling to change.
Okay, later suckers!