The El Camino Effect

Troy and I drove up to Maple Grove today and on the way I saw a guy driving an El Camino. My sister always talked about how she wanted one of the those cars and I was telling that to Troy. He commented on how weird the car looked which made me laugh because that is one of the reasons why Laura likes it so much. I mean, half truck, half car . . . it's the best of both worlds! So, I am laughing and pointing at the El Camino, picturing Laura driving it and singing Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Cher, and then we drove right past the car. It was only when I made eye contact with the driver while I was laughing and pointing that I realized . . . he can see me. I have decided to call this . . . The El Camino Effect.

The El Camino Effect is what makes us think we are invisible in our vehicles. I know that most people feel that way because I am always seeing people pick their noses. (The worse is when someone picks their nose and then inspect it. Gag. Gag. Gag.) Or people are pretending they are in a Bono music video. I myself have rocked many a concert in the driver seat of my little G6. I swear, I have zero reservations about that either. Most people seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that their vehicles are not tinted, Pope-mobiles. I include myself in that group. Simply put, it is The El Camino Effect in full bloom.

It is kind of like when people walk past a mirror. This would be the sister effect which I have now dubbed, The Mirror Effect. (I know, it's not as catchy as The El Camino Effect. I am willing to take suggestions for this one.) Have you ever stopped to watch that? Their pace may not change, but their countenance does. Eyebrows raise, lips become slightly pursed, some do a little hair-flick, all for that moment that they see their reflection. Sometimes I purposely try not to look in the mirror as I walk by. It's another small victory. It is sort of like saying, "Hey Mirror, I know you want me to look at me in you, but I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna purse my lips." That is me dominating The Mirror Effect.

There you go folks, a little Pam-Sense psychology. This one is free of charge.

Imaginary Rock Star

Confession time: I am a rock star. Of course, when I am rocking out my music videos . . . what I really mean is, I am singing really loud . . . to the radio in the car . . . by myself. And I guess if we are being honest here . . . my recording studio is really just . . . my shower . . . when Troy's not home.

You might think I am popping some crazy pills over here, but I know for a fact that I am not the only one who does this. Who doesn't like to belt out their favorite song when they are alone in the car? And anyone can sound fantastic in the shower! I produce my best stuff in there! Seriously, the acoustics really are decent. Anyone who claims they have never done this had better have an extinguisher handy because his/her pants are on fire. Yeah, that's right, I'm calling you posers out!

Of course, singing alone is way less scary than singing in public. I am painfully shy when it comes to performing, and the thought of singing in front of people makes me want to barf. I took vocal lessons for a few years and there was a recital at the end of the semester. It was just me and a piano on a big stage in front of about fifty people. Of course, I am really critical of myself and one time after I sang my song, I walked right off the stage and made a bee-line for the ladies room where I bawled my eyes out because I was so embarrassed that I messed up on six notes. My parents recorded the performance for me, per my request, so I could study my singing "plays" like I was in the NFL. When I finally got the courage to watch it, I realized that I could really only hear three mistakes and my parents said they didn't hear any. But of course, they are my parents. The rules say they have to tell me that. Bless their little hearts.

So, long story short, when Troy went out with the guys and I went to run some errands, you better believe I was in my car singing my heart out winning over "my fans" with my melodious harmonies. **Side Note: Does anybody else have this strange sense of invisible security when they are in the car? Could this be the cause of our music videos? Another blog topic?** And when I went to take a shower, I was laying down some wicked-hot tracks which are sure to be overnight hits! My records are really hard to find in stores, but that's probably okay because I know you are too busy with your own music career in your car or shower. Hey, break a leg out there. Maybe our tour buses will meet up some time.

Stuck

Well, if there is one thing on my Christmas list that I really don't have enough of, it probably wouldn't be snow, and yet that is what we are currently receiving. Even hard core Minnesotans are grumbling at the fluffy, frozen precipitation. The fact is that the Twin Cities are still recovering from the blizzard from last Saturday. There are roads that still needed a few more visits from the snow plows and the metro area is actually having trouble finding places to store all the snow. Mother Nature doesn't give a rip about that though, she felt like wrecking havoc today and so she did. It isn't as bad as the last snow storm, but enough to be a pain in the rear. Maybe Mother Nature is having relationship issues, hence the fury. Just a thought.

Anywho, my car got stuck this afternoon due to Mother Nature's man troubles. I can't think of a time where that had happened to me before. I really don't think I have ever been stuck in snow, but I did today. I was leaving my friend's house and trying to get up a hill but my little G6 didn't have the gusto to get the job done. I tried going in reverse and then putting the car in drive. I tried letting the traction control do it's thing. I tried shoveling out little tire paths with my snow scraper. Finally, when nothing else worked, I even tried shoving my face in my hands and crying. Amazingly enough that didn't get me anywhere, weird, right? I just didn't know what to do and I knew I couldn't push my car and steer all by myself. I was about to get out of the car and run back to my friend's house thinking I was going to have to stay there until the plows came, when her neighbors came walking down the road to help me. I almost hugged them. I was so relieved and would have never become un-stuck without them. After they helped me, we said our goodbyes and shouted out "Merry Christmas!" just like in the movies.

When I got home, I was still feeling pretty chipper . . . until I got stuck again. This time in my own driveway. You would think that was a good thing except my car was all hood-winked in a way where I was parked on a diagonal and Troy wouldn't have been able to get his car in the garage. I had to back my car up all the way back to the road and give myself a running head start. Then, out of frustration, I selfishly took the garage space, tired of fighting the snow in the driveway and in general. In my defense, I have been parking outside for the past month due to the tools and materials we are using for our bathroom renovation which has taken up residency in my garage space. I figured Troy's Mazda could sleep outside, just this once. Of course when I got in the house, I immediately felt guilty for taking his garage space, so I went outside to shovel the driveway so Troy wouldn't have the same trouble I did. Now I don't feel so bad. Plus the old girl (my car) needed a break. She had a very trying day. Sleeping in the garage is the car equivalent to a pedicure. She just wants cute tires! Her dogs are barking, for crying out loud. Here she is, resting in the warm garage.

Being stuck is not much fun. I guess in any scenario being stuck stinks, because even if you were on a white, sandy beach in Hawaii, if you described yourself as being "stuck" there, it would insinuate that it is against your will. Although if that is how you would describe your stay in Hawaii, you are clearly mentally unstable. The only way I could think of being 'stuck' as fun would be if the other variables involved were awesome. For example:

1. You're stuck in the airport for hours . . . but so is the entire cast of LOST and they have decided to reenact season three for you.
2. You're stuck next to a guy with bad B.O. on the bus . . . but he happens to be childhood friends with John Krasinski and he invites you to John's pool party that afternoon.
3. You're stuck in Antarctica . . . but the scientists there have a secret cave they take you to which is actually a porthole to a beach resort in Bermuda.

I think one way being stuck today would have been awesome would be if I was in Back to the Future II and just shoved a few of my lunch leftovers in my Mr. Fusion and then flew home. Problem solved. That would have been fabulous.