Today, I had a little bit of a fashion faux pas. It was quite rainy this morning; however, for the past two days we have been enjoying temperatures in the mid to upper 60's, so a rainy day in January is pretty nice. As I looked out the window this morning, I thought I should probably wear my rain boots that I finally broke down and bought a couple of years ago. I really hate having wet feet, but then again, unless you're taking a shower, who doesn't? So, I put my cute, ballet flats in my purse and stuffed my toes into their waterproof protectors.
Then, I thought about how I wouldn't want the bottoms of my dress pants to get all wet either, so I stuffed those into the boots as well. My dress pants didn't fit nicely in my boots, so when I stood up, I looked like MC Hammer in galoshes. I figured it was better than slopping around with wet feet, so I just went with it.When I got to school, I passed stylish mothers dropping their children off, wearing their skinny jeans or leggings tucked tightly into their Hunter boots, while I splashed through the puddles with my Hammer Time maternity pants shoved into my Target brand boots. Though I was dry, I thought that maybe I had made the wrong call this morning. I was only too happy to peel those boots off and replace them with my cute flats.
As the day went on, I didn't think too much about my frumpy rain boots. I was glad to have dry feet and since the rain stopped in the afternoon, I didn't wear them home. I guess I am an adult for sure since I choose comfort over cuteness. I may have looked like MC Hammer, but at least my feet could say to the rain, 'can't touch this.' (Yeah, I just did that.)
If you read my blog, you know I love me some pockets. And who wouldn't? They are conveniently and ergonomically located at a comfortable distance at your waist. You always have a place for your hands when you don't know what to do with them. You can store your small treasures such as chapstick. I mean, even the word "pocket" is nice. It's like a hug you wrap around your hands that happen to be located in your Levi's. You will never hear a woman complain, "Awe man! This dress has pockets! Dang it!" Ever put on a pair of pants without pockets? It's terrible. Your hands freak out for the whole day as they search for their tiny getaway. Oh, is that just me? NOPE, you do it too.
As I have been in the professional world for a few years now, I have donned many-a-dress pant. Have you noticed that some new dress pants have the pockets sewn shut? This irritates me to no end. How in the world will I know if my hands like their pockets? More importantly, why on earth would someone sew up a hug? It's just wrong. I was thinking about this recently due to a shopping trip with my mom.
For Christmas, my parents' gift to me was some new maternity clothes which was great because I really needed dress pants for work. My mom and I went out shopping and she helped me pick out a nice pair of dark grey, lined trousers - I love that word. I was excited to have a pair of pants that didn't make me look frumpy at work. The first time I put them on to wear to work, the pockets were sewn shut. Grrrr. I was going to need those pockets ready for active duty - Hello! Chapstick? - so I got my trusty seam ripper from my sewing kit and opened those puppies up. When I went to slide my hands inside, the pockets only went as far as my knuckles!!! I still rock those bad boys, but every day that I wear those dress pants I stand a significant risk of losing my Burt's Bees Pomegranate chapstick. I guess, I like to live dangerously, but I seriously question the integrity of the person who designed such small pockets. I am sure this person is utterly unhappy in life. But I digress.
Here's what I don't understand, why even sew the pockets up in the first place? What a waste of thread. The only conclusion that I have come up with is that clothing companies know how amazing pockets are. So, they sew them up, almost like you would wrap a present to be opened on Christmas morning. When you rip open those seems, the clouds part and the angels from heaven shower you with their 'halleluiahs' as you slip your hands inside the pockets.
I did some Googling and found that companies sew pockets shut because it keeps the clothing looking its best in the store. Whatever. I think that's lame so I am going to go with the Christmas morning theory; plus it is much better than thinking that the clothing companies just want to
make your mornings that much more difficult by adding another step to
your grooming rituals. (Well, maybe the person who creates small pockets does; we know how unhappy that person is.)
I know. It seems like I have abandoned you. I suppose to a certain extent, it is true. My last post was a million years ago; at least that is what it feels like. The truth is, the unthinkable has happened. The hubs and I decided to expand our family. First we got a dog, Bruce . . . . and then a few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant. I think our families and friends were shocked. After all, Troy and I were on the two year plan, which just so happened to get bumped back everyday. But, we were bound to procreate someday and five years later, that day has come. Baby Boy Carlson will make his debut the end of May.
Thus, part of the reason for my absence from the blog world. For the longest time, we were just trying to keep our huge secret. I was really worried we would end up spilling the beans. After all, Troy and I would talk about the baby all the time and then when we were around others, we had to pretend like nothing new was happening. We wanted to wait until I was in my second trimester and things were safe, but mostly we waited because my sister, Laura got married the beginning of November and we didn't want to share the news until after her big day.
When we did share the news, the reactions were hilarious. We decided to tell our families by pretending to take a picture while the
camera was on video. That way, we would always be able to see our family's reactions. Troy told the families to say "Pam's pregnant!" My family in particular was in a small state of denial. They all put on their nice smiles and repeated his phrase without thinking about what they said! It was so funny! I have personally watched the video about 30 times and each time I still laugh so hard. The best is Laura's reaction when she goes after Troy for an excited hug while he is still filming. Here's the video. It is definitely worth the watch.
Anywho, it's been an easy pregnancy, in fact, my friend Becca called it a "ghost pregnancy" because I haven't really had any symptoms besides about three weeks of nausea and exhaustion. There is one symptom I have that I thought was an old wives tale - that is my Pregnancy Brain also called Momnesia. I thought this was a joke, until I started walking into a room to get something and by the time I got there, I had already forgotten what I needed. Or when I start to tell Troy a story about something that happened that day and I can't remember the rest of the story while I am in the middle of it. I also tend to blurt things out that are completely stupid. Thankfully, that happens mostly around Troy - albeit just about everyday - but there have been a few times when my Pregnancy Brain fly its freak flag for the world to see and the two stories below are the best ones so far.
The Phantom Phone Incident
One afternoon, I was talking on the phone with Laura while on my way home from work. I parked in the garage and started collecting all my things to bring inside, but once inside I realized I had forgotten to bring my phone into the house. The next few minutes are a product of my pregnancy brain, and I suppose I have to take responsibility for my actions; however, this in no way lowers the embarrassment level I encumbered that day.
"Oh, shoot! I think I left my phone in the car." I said.
"What?" Laura replied, confused.
"I think I must have left my phone in the car; it's not in the pocket of my purse where I usually keep it. I better go get it." I explained.
"Do you mean, you left the phone you are using to talk to me with in your car?" Laura said, slowly.
Here's the problem with this scenario is that it repeated itself theverynextday. That's right folks. I called Laura again the next day on my way home from work, came into the house, and announced to her that I left my phone in the car . . . again. We had not yet shared our news, so I think Laura was concerned, and with good reason.
Catch Phrase Freak Out Incident
Troy and I were invited to a dinner at the home of one of his colleague's. Afterwards, we played a few games of Catch Phrase. If you haven't played this game, you have to get your team to say a particular word without saying it yourself. Teams can steal points if the buzzer goes off during their turn to guess. **Side Note: I am notoriously loud while playing this game and use large hand gestures. Troy often has to tell me to calm down and lower my voice. I will literally be shouting by the end of the game.
We decided to play girls against guys. The buzzer went off on the guys and us gals had a chance to make a guess as to what the word was and steal a point. My teammate said she thought the word might be "convict." I nodded as I mulled over the clues that the guys had given and knew that I had thought of the perfect answer. I shouted out, "CONVICT!" as though this was a new idea. I found that everyone at the table was laughing at me. "Christine just said that," Troy told me. Oh my word. I am sure my face turned so red. What on earth is wrong with me. I am pretty sure I heard her, but it was like those moments were completely wiped out of my brain.
To make matters worse, I realized as we were about to put our coats on, I had a price tag still attached to the new maternity shirt I was wearing. I had been rocking that tag all day. It was the icing on the cake. Thankfully our hosts thought my Pregnancy Brain was funny. I had warned them about it before we started the game. I think they thought I was just setting myself up to save face should my team lose. After that night, they saw that I have just completely lost my mind.
While I seem to have misplaced my brain for the time being, it does make for some entertaining moments in the Carlson household. So, I write this blog as a warning to all you who happen to be near a pregnant woman. Watch them closely, you may get to see them do something hilarious. Like put their cell phone in the fridge in exchange for a glass of water, and let it stay there all night long. (Yes, my friend actually did that.)
Let's just be grateful I am not a surgeon. I only work with children. They are resilient.
