Pipes

A few weeks ago, Troy rented the movie, Inglorious Bastards. This turned out to be too gory for me so I only watched about twenty minutes of the movie, but I was able to see the beginning scene when Christoph Waltz's character, Col. Hans Landa, is in the french countryside searching for Jewish families in hiding. Col. Landa is making himself at home inside this humble cottage and pulls out a massive pipe and proceeds to calmly talk about his plans with the farmer. I couldn't really watch much more of the movie after this as my stomach and bloody movie scenes don't mix well; however, I have not been able to get that pipe out of my mind.

Which brings me to the topic of this blog: why are pipes so awesome? My sister and I have had this conversation many times. In fact, when we see "Joe the Plummer" smoking a pipe and enjoying life, we immediately text each other to share the fabulous scene. Now, I am not a smoker. I think it's gross and to be honest - ignorant considering the well-known health effects, but there is something about pipe smoking that is so cool, that I make an exception. Maybe it's because it's borderline nerdy since pipe smoking (in my mind) is reserved for smoking rooms, complete with a Hugh Hefner silk jacket. Maybe it's because it is a dying habit since most smokers focus on cigarettes or cigars.

I wish I could find a real looking pipe that blows bubbles. That would be phenomenal. It would be the best of both worlds! I would look sweet with my pipe and have a better chance at a longer life span. I have a few friends who like to enjoy a cigar every now and then. I would love to pull out my bubble pipe and pretend to stuff it with my pre-packed Palmolive dish soap and then blow out a few delicate bubbles, then nonchalantly continue with the conversation as though this is perfectly acceptable - which in my opinion is. I had a pipe as a kid that would blow bubbles, but it was a plastic, fluorescent orange piece of junk . . . nothing sweet like Col. Hans Landa's pipe.

I looked up pipe smoking online and found the best picture of a sea captain smoking a pipe, complete with a guide to smoking pipes which focuses on beginners. I am adding the website because it is funny as all get-out and perhaps one of the three people who read this blog would be interested to know how one should get such a dying art (no pun intended) started. I also added the picture because it is fantastic and I wish the sea captain was my grandpa.

Guide to Pipe Smoking featuring The Sea Captain who would make a Sweet Grandpa

So, keep your eyes peeled for those few, proud Americans who aren't afraid to smoke their pipes outside their libraries or dens; those who boldly walk amongst us, sans the Japanese, silk, smoking jackets and laugh in the faces of those common-folk who smoke the cigarettes and cigars that are so beneath them. And when you see these folks, you stand up straight and give them a salute!

(Image of Col. Hans Landa retrieved from Wikipedia from http://search.creativecommons.org/ This image is a screenshot from a copyrighted film, and the copyright for it is most likely owned by the studio which produced the film, and possibly also by any actors appearing in the screenshot. Image of smoking sea captain from http://www.notsoboringlife.com/pipe-smoking/guide-to-pipe-smoking/)