The Minnesota State Fair

It's the time of year again. When folks from all over the state, flock to our capital city and gorge themselves on all things that are deep fried and served on a stick. It is known as the Great Minnesota Get Together. About 1.7 million people attend each season. It is . . . The Minnesota State Fair. You can ask almost any Minnesotan what their plans are from late August until Labor Day and they will undoubtedly tell you when they are going to the fair. It is a part of our culture. Personally, I love the fair and all the weird quirkiness that goes with it.

The food is obviously a huge draw. Our general plan of attack is to share everything so that we can eat more junk. This year we had cheese curds, a papa Pronto Pup, an ear of corn, fried Snickers bar on a stick (my personal favorite), fried apple pie, 2 lemonades, a few of Sweet Martha's cookies - and then we decided to get something we never had before - hot dish on a stick. Being from the Chicago-land area, I did not grow up eating "hotdish" and had never had it before. I thought since we were at the Great Minnesota Get Together, getting it fried and on a stick would be appropriate. I was wrong. It was gross. Maybe it is an acquired taste. Regardless, I will not be making Tater Tot Hotdish for my family nor will I eat it again.

After the selection of food, people watching is one of my favorite activities. Where else can you see such a diverse group of people? Troy and I are big fans of people watching. It is a great activity while you are resting your feet and nursing an overpriced glass of lemonade. I have found that a majority of the people at the fair can classified into one of the following categories:

1. Farm Folks. These are the kids who are involved in 4H and have driven miles from the outskirts of the Metro. They walk around in their Wranglers and dirty boots, awed by the amount of people and the fact that they finally get to come to "the city." (I am sure you can pick up on the fact that I ooze city slicker from my pours.) They sit in their camping chairs next to their sows, goats, and cows and look at us city folks like we are fools for not knowing how to truly live off the land like Daniel Boone . . . and they would be right, but I also don't need to pick hay out of my hair at night.

2. White Trash. This is a given. Any event that boasts food that will clog your arteries - on a stick - will for sure bring a surplus of these folks. They walk around in dirty flip flops or slippers (yes, I saw slippers as outdoor foot wear) with their overweight, loud children in tow, talking with their mouth full of fried food. Toothless, husbands lighting up a cigarette and blowing in the faces of everyone around them. I saw two women who apparently forgot to put their shirts on in the morning . . . that or a bobcat attacked their tops on the way to the fair. One of the two.

3. Pure Minnesotans. This is a category I have recently made up. This group contains people who love the outdoors and dress as such. They are the ones wearing Tevas or Chacos (some with socks . . .don't even get me started), cargo shorts and polo t-shirts. They may or may not have a sweatshirt tied around their waist or shoulders. They are pushing Bob strollers (these are made for runners) and eating the healthiest (I use this term loosely) options the Fair has to offer or munching on apple slices that they brought with them. Many of the people in this group are also donning fanny packs . . . which I cannot even talk about here, and should be the topic for another blog.

4. Prom Queens. I don't know why there is a large group of people in this category, but every time we go to the Fair, I see women who apparently thought they were going clubbing instead of coming to the Fair. They are wearing high heels, skinny jeans and enough make up to cover the entire cast of Gossip Girls. Often these women are holding a plastic cup of beer. Very classy. I have no idea how they teeter all over the fair grounds dressed like that. They must have corns the size of volleyballs.

If you could not identify yourself in one of these groups, congratulations! You're normal. If you did classify yourself in one of these groups, own it. While you may be a strange sub culture, everyone is accepted at the Fair. So, that is it. With tomorrow being Labor Day, it is also the last day of the fair. We will have to wait a whole year before we can see the butter sculptures, get free St. Thomas bags from the education building, and visit Minnesota's Largest Boar. That's okay though, it will take me that long to burn the calories I consumed in our visit.

Family Stick Figures

If you know my dad at all, you would know that saying he is a car buff would be an understatement. I grew up with my dad giving my sister and I basic "rules" for our cars. Number one, wash your car regularly. Number two, check your oil often. Number three, NEVER put stickers on your car. I will be honest, rules number one and two were not always on my radar. **Side Note: I hate checking my oil and would only do it when I got the 'Dad-Look.' Now that I live on my own, I don't even know the last time I personally checked my oil. Eek!** However, rule number three has always stuck with me. I would MAYBE put one sticker on my car if I thought it was super cool and worthy enough to break my rule. I feel the same way about tattoos. Needless to say I do not have a sticker on my car nor do I have a tattoo. It might be a fear of commitment of ink . . . that might be another blog topic.

Getting back to the issue at hand, I think in general bumper stickers devalue your car. It's a personal opinion . . . not to be confused with my personal taboo facts; i.e. socks with sandals, ketchup on hotdogs, etc. Lately Troy and I have been noticing the family stick figure stickers, generally on mini vans and the giant SUVs that scream, "I will plow you over if you make me late for my kid's soccer game." I am sure you've seen them. They are ridiculous. As if the bumper sticker that said, "My kid's on the Honor Roll at Orland Jr High School" wasn't geeky enough, the bumper sticker companies decided to up the ante. They have become more versatile now, too. I have seen sea turtles, smilie faces, even flip flops depicting each member of the family. Sometimes you'll even get their surname underneath. Giant white letters, letting you know who you can call by name should you decided to chuck water balloons at their car. "Take this middle, sized girl in the Smith Family!"

You can also get them custom designed so you can share with the perfect strangers you are driving past, some of your favorite hobbies. "Hmm, I see that the oldest Miller boy in that Dodge Caravan is interested in skiing. Wow, I will never get those five seconds back that I wasted thinking about that." Anyone who has a pet will know that you can't leave them out of the family equation, so you can choose your furry or slimy creature who has touched your heart - alive or dead, yes, I'm serious. Anything from the family favorite Fido to ferrets, hedgehogs and goats can be added as a decal. Which brings me to another question, who the heck has a hedgehog for a pet? Or a goat for that matter? So many comments, so little Google gigabytes to collect them.

I decided to look into designing a decal for my family. I made Troy a super hero because it's awesome and I think he would look great in a cape. I made me a hula dancer because I rock at the hula and then of course I had to add Olivia and Molly. I also wanted to include our beloved goldfish, McCain, may he rest in peace due to a stressful evening where my friend, Becca may have been the cause of his demise. The best part was designing the figures and I have to say, that was mildly amusing, but I am certainly not going to cough up the $38.75 plus shipping and handling to become another lame-o on the road with an overpriced sticker.

All this to say, when I see you driving down the road with your stick family plastered to your rear window, you should know I am making fun of you . . . openly. Does this make me a better person? Absolutely not. But it does help to build up my endorphins and is amusing for me. Just know when you order those stick figure stickers, baby on board signs, honor roll awareness stickers, etc, and stick them on your car, you are a heartbeat away from wearing white Keds, a jean skirt and a fanny pack, driving around in a mini van. If that isn't enough to snap you back to reality, heaven help you, it may be too late.