If I were Superman, my kryptonite would be extreme heat (like anything over 85 degrees Fahrenheit) and extreme hunger (like I haven't eaten anything in a couple of hours.) Though I have known this about myself for a while, that kryptonite snuck up on me like sly fox yesterday.We have been keeping our windows open because the weather has been nice lately, especially at night. And since our air conditioner cools our upstairs as well as a person with emphysema runs a marathon, it is usually hot when it's time for bed. Yesterday, we came home from church and after fixing lunch, I was rocking some pretty, healthy sweat glands. So, I thought I would change into some cooler clothes, throw my hair up in a pony tail and try to drink some ice water. None of those things worked. It was slowly becoming hotter than Hades in our house. I am pretty sure the devil, himself, walked in and said, "Dang! It's too hot for me!" and then left. Anywho, while I was sweltering, I kept thinking about lizards. Weird, I know, but stay with me. You know how lizards run faster when they sit out in the sun and are more lethargic when they are in the shade? I kept thinking about that and how I wished that was true for us. Although there is the slight warm-blooded/cold-blooded difference that has to do with our energy levels and if I was cold blooded, I couldn't live in Minnesota. Well, I guess I could hibernate for the winter like frogs, which are also cold-blodded but they are amphibians and I was thinking about lizards.
I know what you're thinking. 'Pam, turn the air conditioning on. We already know that you are an air conditioning snob.' It's true. In fact, Troy, seeing me sweat puddles across my face, told me to do the same thing. But it was too late. The kryptonite already had its radioactive grasp on me. I was too weak to move from the couch. I couldn't even change the channel on the TV. I only had the strength to move my eye lids from an open to a closed position. Thankfully, Troy is not effected by kryptonite. I suppose he is more of a Batman super hero. Though hot and uncomfortable, Troy swiftly leapt from the couch and bolted to the thermostat to adjust the temperature. After closing all the windows, he allowed the air conditioning from our floor vents to blow at his cape. Then he turned to me. After realizing that the house was slowly getting cooler. I started to regain my strength. Troy saved the day! He's a hero and very dreamy, might I add. The krptonite was becoming smaller and smaller and I am happy to report that it is completely gone now.
My other kryptonite, extreme hunger lasting up to a few hours, can also be very debilitating. My brain shuts down. I can only communicate via Morse code that my stomach rumblings produce. It's terrible. Plus I become feisty and can throw temper tantrums like a two year old. I actually keep a snack in my purse or my car almost all the time for this very purpose. I have two snacks in my purse right now, a granola bar and peanut butter crackers.
Moral of the story: even superheros like me and Superman have our Achilles heel. Although mine is more severe since kryptonite isn't even real and extreme heat and hunger are. Superman is such a wuss.
