Chapstick Challenge

My lips are on fire right now. I am nowhere near my beloved tube of chapstick. All I want is to grasp my beautiful Burt's Bees and slather that goodness on my lips. Before you call the police to inform them of a kidnap, I am safe and sound in the comfort of my home, but I have been without chapstick for approximately 22 hours

Let's rewind and get you up to speed. Last Tuesday, Troy introduced me to my chapstick challenge. He wondered if I could go without chapstick for a full 24 hours. My first thought was panic. I had just applied my chapstick before going to bed and if I accepted his challenge I wouldn't be able to reapply until bedtime the next day! My next thought was that I wasn't sure if I would be up for the challenge. I mean, I always have chapstick on me. You know how some men have an outline of their wallet that has worn through their jeans, so even if their wallet is not in their pocket, it looks like it is? I have had that happen to me except it was a chapstick outline in my front, right pocket of my jeans. I wish I were joking here. I tried to figure out how long I have been nursing this habit and it has been at least since high school. So when I say that I wasn't sure if I could complete the challenge, my fear was valid. I was being asked to change a behavior that I have exhibited for over ten years!

I must have been off my rocker, but I accepted the challenge. I still don't know why. Anyway, the next day was awful. I purposely left my chapstick on my night stand. I couldn't trust myself to put it in my pocket because I already knew that there are times during the day when I subconsciously take it out and put it on. I realized that I was completely addicted because I reached into my pocket for my chapstick probably ten times that day and every other minute, I thought about how chapped my lips were.

I knew I was going to need a plan of attack if I was going to make it through the day. Unfortunately, they don't make Nicorate patches for chapstick addicts. I decided that every time I wanted to take a hit off my chapstick, I would take a drink of water. Besides getting more of my daily fluid intake, I thought that I would take this addiction head on - psychology style. Here was my theory. I learned in my psychology class in college about Freud, and while I think some of his ideas were completely delusional (I am referring the envy he claimed women had to the male genitalia) there was one stage that I thought maybe I fit in, the oral stage. People who fixate on this stage may have issues with smoking, biting their nails, or in my case, habitual chapstick usage. I thought if I could substitute one oral habit (chapstick) for another (drinking water), I might be able to lick this (no pun intended - to my psychologist friends, thank you for laughing at that one). It didn't work. Long story short, I still wanted my chapstick and on top of that, I was in the bathroom twice as much as usual. On the bright side, I was not at all dehydrated.

Chapstick was all I could think about. It was all I wanted. And yet, I could have applied at any time. Why was I putting myself through this? I have two theories:

1. Competition. I have realized that I am a very competitive person. Mostly I am competing with myself, which also explains my perfectionist tendencies. When Troy challenged me to the chapstick challenge, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Though I still think I should get a gold star or a sticker or something for this.

2. Addiction. I seriously think I am addicted to chapstick. It kind of bothers me how my life almost revolves around chapstick and it wasn't until I took this challenge did I realized that I didn't like being chained to this habit.

I did complete the challenge, successfully. At bedtime, I was allowed to put on my chapstick and boy did I put it on. There were probably five even coats on my lips before I turned out the lights. I sighed a sigh of relief as I realized the torture was done. It wasn't until the next morning that I surprised even myself. After getting ready for the day, I went back to my night stand to put on my wedding ring and watch, but I stopped myself when I went to reach for my chapstick. I thought about the torture I went through the day before and wondered if it would be easier today. I let the chapstick spend the day on my nightstand. Not only that, for a full week, I have only been putting on chapstick at bedtime. It is getting easier to go without . . . sort of. It's more like I am getting used to wanting to rip my lips off each day. We'll see how long I last . . . right now I am just trying to survive until bedtime.

Chap Stick

I can not believe I have written thirty-some-odd posts without talking about chap stick! I have a severe addiction to chap stick. If you don't already know this about me, we must not be friends . . . or even acquaintances . . . honestly, we've probably never met. I am not exactly sure when this addiction started. I want to say it began in my late junior high years, but it is safe to say that by the time I was established in high school, I was known for always having chap stick on me.

I remember a sad and lonely time before I began my love affair with chap stick. I was riding my bike, one crisp, fall day. My lips were really dry and so obviously I kept licking them, only exasperating the problem and the whole time I was thinking, "I hate this feeling . . . a lot. I don't want to feel like this again." Maybe that's when I made my move. Regardless of when I started, once I began, I was hooked. One time, my sister, Laura and I were in the car, (probably on our way to somewhere awesome) when I had a small panic attack. I quickly checked my pockets and realized that I did not have my chap stick!! I promptly turned the car around to retrieve my beloved, who was waiting for me in my room.

My chap stick lives in one of two places: my pocket or my night stand. When I am ready for bed, it goes on my night stand because obviously I am going to want to reapply before I go to bed. After I get dressed the next morning, it goes in my right pocket. I actually have a pair of jeans that have a small rectangular wear-mark from my chap stick, kinda like dad jeans and the worn back pocket where their wallet goes. Same thing. Although, there are rare situations where my chap stick might live in my purse if I am wearing a dress and there have been a few times where I put it in my socks if my pants didn't have pockets. By the way, that's not weird, that's improvising.

I am pretty brand loyal to my chap stick, although I have made a few switches in the fifteen-ish years I have been addicted. I started out with Lip Smackers Dr. Pepper chap stick . . . obviously. Then I went to Blistex Silk and Shine. Troy didn't like the way that one smelled so I have recently switched to Vanilla Soft Lips. When I put on my chap stick now, Troy's sense of smell doesn't make him form furrowed brow nor does he roll the windows down in the car, which I really appreciate in the winter months.

Troy doesn't really understand my "need" for chap stick. He has one tube of the original Chapstick brand that he has probably had for five years or longer. He puts it on only a few times a year, usually in the winter, and only before bed. I always ask him to wait for me to put it on. I may or may not think it is a little bit sexy. Before you judge me . . . just don't judge me. It's the little things that help make a relationship work and if you make fun of me, I will body slam you.

My friend, Krista, told me about a friend of hers who also had a chap stick addiction, and she decided to quit cold turkey. Apparently after about a month, her lips blistered up!! They looked really gross and were painful. Eventually she healed and now she is proud to say she is chap stick free, using it only sparingly, much like Troy does. Krista - who shares my chap stick addiction - and I decided that it isn't worth it. We decided to be a slave to chap stick over having our lips blister up.

This summer, I started thinking about how much money I spend on chap stick. I started to keep track, and then it kinda made me depressed, because I know down the road I could have bought like 50 pairs of shoes with that money, so I stopped.

So, I guess this is the part where I need to address I have a problem. Here it goes:
Hi, my name is Pam and I am addicted to chap stick.
Hi Pam.
I am aware that I have a problem.
Good for you, Pam.
I am also aware that I do not have the desire to quit.
Umm, excuse me???
When I die, please bury me with a fresh tube of chap stick.
I don't think this group is for you if you are unwilling to change.
Okay, later suckers!