Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget

I love a good bargain. I think this was instilled in me by my grandparents who still live financially like we are in the Depression. I have a hard time paying full price for many things . . . unless we are in dire need of it; for example a new bathtub. (We paid full price for that puppy. There was no waiting for Home Depot to have a sale nor was there any regret over that decision.) One great thing about being thrifty is that sometimes you are able to buy items that are unique and other people wouldn't be able to find. It's fun to know you have a one of a kind. When I see signs for flea markets, estate sales and church rummage sales, it really gets my heart pumping. (Yes, I just said that and I am only slightly embarrassed by it, but not so much that I would consider rephrasing it.) All this being said, I would not call myself cheap. In fact, cheap people annoy the heck out of me, but I do still have my old financial situation in the back of my mind from when I was single and was making choices like whether I should get gas or groceries for the week. (I ate a lot of Ramen then and, consequently, was a dress size smaller . . .) So, I often find it hard (and sometimes unwise) to "splurge" even though I am not worried about bouncing checks.

All of this random back information leads up to what happened this morning. I was organizing a stack of catalogs we had in our coffee table cubbyholes and decided to peruse them one more time before recycling them. In the pile was a catalog for Pottery Barn . . . the booklet that contains the glorious housewares to the decorating mecca. I don't know how my name got on the coveted mailing list for PB but it did, and now they torment me with their beautiful accessories, monogrammed pillowcases and handsome wood furniture pieces that grace the pages of their Booklet of Desires. Every time I turn the page, I spot something that would look perfect in our home. I cock my head to the side, scrunch up my face in awe and then sigh deeply as I look at the price. If I was able to pick out everything I wanted in that catalog, I would have to take out a second mortgage on our home. Pottery Barn has become another of my Love/Hate Relationships. Love the style, hate how they take you to the cleaners on the price.

While I was wistfully coveting all that PB has to offer the American consumer, I was also watching HGTV, obviously, and watching the creative designers masterfully transform the room they are designing into a new oasis for the homeowner. Between that and my PB experience, I was beginning to enter a dark designing place where I think, ''I need to redecorate.'' (Don't worry, Troy, I won't . . . . we have our hands full with the bathroom). After I took a few deep breaths, I realized that I was getting sucked into the American Dream that is like the pink elephant in the room. You know, the one that says, ''you can have it all now, you just need to hand over your first child as payment.'' Or you may have heard it phrased like, ''you can have it all now, who cares if you go into financial ruin.''

So, I guess the lesson learned today is one of the following:

1. Pottery Barn is clearly from the devil. One should never read the temptations it has splashed over in its sinful pages.

. . . or . . .

2. Don't organize the coffee table.

I ♥ HGTV

Troy is out spending time with the boys tonight, so what am I doing? Watching HGTV obviously! I think I watch HGTV as much as Troy watches ESPN. (Wow, that is a loaded sentence.) I seriously love that channel though. House Hunters, Dear Genevieve, Curb Appeal, Sarah's House, Holmes on Homes, Divine Design, Tough as Nails, Selling New York - I love them all. I even saw an HGTV application that you can put on your iPhone which I want . . . even though I don't have an iPhone. Minor complication.

Because of this television station, I say things like, "That house has good bones," or "The windows on the cabinets really makes the light bounce around the kitchen." This channel even motivates me to destroy things . . . well and then make them look awesome. For example, one day I was minding my own business, trying to do a load of laundry, when I realized the single shelf we had holding the detergent, dryer sheets, box of rags, and other items was not very efficient. If I needed something that was on the back of the shelf, I had to clear the front part of the shelf off to reach it. (I am what you would call 'vertically challenged'.) So, I decided to take the shelf down and buy a shelving unit instead. When I ripped the shelf out, I realized I was going to have to spackle and sand the screw holes that had once held up my dinky shelf, so I figured, I might as well paint the room while I am at it. Then while I was painting, I made a few splatters on the floor - I hate using drop cloths - which then made me decide to rip up the linoleum and lay down some peel and stick tile. Troy came home from work while I was in the middle of my "little" project and wondered what happened to the simple assembly of a shelving unit. The laundry room did turn out awesome and for a week I wanted to sleep in there. I would seriously make pit stops to the laundry room whenever I passed the front foyer. I owe this little project to shows like Dear Genevieve and Design to Sell.

This summer, I decided to revamp my little garden area in our back yard. I finally mustered up the courage after watching many episodes of Curb Appeal:The Block. I raked all the river rocks off the area, dug up our four giant hostas -oh my lanta, that was a job!-, toiled and added more rich soil and then began my replanting process. I cut the hostas up into sixteen parts and planted them along the border of the house. Then I bought a baby blue hydrangea -which I love like a child- and planted it in front of the air conditioner. After I planted my two lily of the valley plants, I finished off the look with ceder chips. Let me tell you, it looks awesome. And it should, I had blisters for a week and my back was sore for two days!

Although these projects make the house look nicer, I am starting to wonder if I watch too much HGTV. Could the old cliché of having too much of a good things be true? I mean, when I am in the HGTV mode, I really just feel like grabbing a sledge hammer and demolishing something only so I can put it back together. If I had the right tools, I probably would be doing more of that. Troy would come home from work and a wall would be missing in the kitchen or I would designed a spa bathroom upstairs. This is a great time to give a huge shout out to our friend, Craig "Mophats" Berg, who graciously loans me his tools for my projects. I have borrowed so many tools from Mophats, you would think he was a Rent-a-Center. I am surprised he doesn't have me put a down payment down when I come over. Which reminds me, I am making you some cookies, Fo, as a thank you.

One night, Troy and I were in our upstairs bathroom and he asked me if I thought we should rip up the linoleum in our upstairs bathroom and put down tile . . . I may or may not have drooled at the thought of picking out tile. The next day I had to go to Home Depot (to get supplies for another project) and I decided to browse the tile selection. All of a sudden I had a vision of a spa tub, complete with jets, subway tile running along the walls and glass back splashes . . . then I ran for my car. The job that my brain conjured up was much too big for me, but it was fun to think about. Maybe someday when we live in our forever house we can do something like that.

All this demo and reno talk makes me want to paint or stain something. I have seriously thought about painting the trim in our house white (which would make my dad freak out) just so I could put up crown molding. Man, I love that stuff. I might need to cut myself off to house projects cold turkey . . . or be a designer in my next life so that I can have people pay me to buy their stuff and then boss around my contractor to do the heavy lifting.