Inanimate . . . or Alive?

I am convinced that the main reason why the Toy Story franchise is so popular is because almost every child wonders if their toys really come to live when no one is around. When you are not around, you know your teddy bear and Barbie doll are having a tea party, or your G.I. Joes are building a fort with your Lincoln Logs. There is something magical about your special toys and you just hope that they are in fact REAL. Well, I am all grown up now and my toys are no longer Barbies and stuffed animals, but sometimes I wonder if maybe there are some things that come to life when you're not looking, unfortunately, they seem to be the kind of acts of vengeance that Sid's toys had for him.

Have you ever been working on something and it all seems to go wrong? It is almost as if that inanimate object has a personal vendetta against you. It seems like there are days when I have this battle. A battle between me and inanimate objects. For whatever reason, these objects seem to have a mind of their own and seem to want to "fight" me. I always have this issue with sports bras. I know that they are tight because they need to hold the girls in place, but I swear, every time I put one on, it fights me. It's almost like the bra doesn't want me to wear it. My hair gets all tangled up in the spandex, it rolls up in the back which is next to impossible to smooth out - I will probably need rotator cuff surgery because of this - and sometimes when I finally get it in place, I feel like I have already finished the workout which needed the sports bra to begin with!

I had another attack yesterday. I was putting up our outdoor Christmas lights and we have some pre-lit garland that I wanted to drape above our door. The garland had never been pulled out of the box. I bought two boxes of it about three years ago at an after-Christmas sale and have only used the one until yesterday. It was a 25 foot strand of garland that was compacted into a 2x2x4 foot box. This was my first annoyance because as I pulled out the lump that was compacted at a molecular level - I knew I would never be able to get the garland that tight again when it came time to put it away. After what seemed like an eternity of unrolling the garland, I finally was able to get to the task of getting it up on the molding and adjusting it to the right swag. I literally got up and down on that ladder 15 times to get it right and each time I realized the other side needed adjusting, I swear that garland was laughing at me. I finally won the battle and the garland looks nice, but for a split second (okay, maybe more like a solid minute) I wondered if that garland was secretly out to get me for leaving him in the box for 3 years.

I know that it sounds crazy, but there are little moments like that were I wonder if these things are purposefully not doing what is expected from them just to tick me off.  I always thought I was a nice person. Not at all like Sid from Toy Story. I treat my things nicely. Why are they attacking me? Am I alone in this? 

Alright, so they probably aren't attacking me . . . . it is most likely user error, but maybe I should just go upstairs and give my sports bras a few compliments, just in case.