Sassy Pam

Penelope is a character on Saturday Night Live and is known for being the "one up-pper." You can't have a normal conversation with her because she is so irritating. She has always done something better than you, her sob stories are always more heart-wrenching and honestly, you just want to kick her in the shins when she is talking to you. I feel like lately I am surrounded by Penelopes. It seems like it doesn't matter which social circle I am in, I will share something that I might be stressed or excited about and someone has to come in and announce to the group their tale which makes what I have shared completely lame.

In the past, I would have described myself as quiet - maybe even passive. Unfortunately, "Pam's Penelopes" are sucking the joy out of my life which is slowly creating a monster. Instead of being Sweet Pam, I am turning into Sassy Pam. I will be sharing a story, someone comes in and one-up's me, and then I get sassy. The worst part of it is that many times, the words fly out of my mouth before I have had time to assess the damage they may create. Thankfully, I am new to the Sassy Pam title, so my verbal assaults are fairly harmless . . . for now. Just as iron sharpens iron, my tongue gets a little more dangerous with each one-upper interaction. I am fearful that someday I won't have any control.Thankfully, I am addressing this issue now.

I don't know really how Sassy Pam evolved, but I do have my theories. One is that I have usually been easy going and "the nice person" so people took advantage of that. It is in my humble opinion that the Nice Guy really does finish last. For example, last week I had class and because my school is downtown, I have to park in a parking garage. I saw this really great spot open and it was right near the exit, so I followed the arrows and drove the correct way to get there, only to find out some yahoo had cheated and drove the wrong way to beat me to it!! I was so mad!! Who does that?! Maybe Sassy Pam came from the stresses of work, family, school, etc. But unbeknown to the fools to take advantage of the nice guy, the irritation starts to bubble and brew up inside of us and it is not until there is an explosion does the ebb of frustration occur.

Currently, I am in the process of trying to avoid that explosion. I am sure it would not be pretty nor lady-like should I fly off the handle. June Cleaver would definitely not approve of such an outburst so I need to formulate a plan for when I encounter those one-uppers. So far, my only idea is to do push ups. (I can actually do awesome push-ups, not the lame, girly ones on my knees.) I am thinking that these one-uppers drive me so crazy that I need to release that anger somehow and perhaps the best way is kinesthetically. I don't really have any other ideas at this point.

So, let this be a warning to all you one-uppers out there. I probably won't ever tell you to your face that you are in fact this particular breed, but you will know if you if I randomly bust out a few sets of push ups and if that is the case, you may want to slowly exit the room before there is an explosion. Or (here's a crazy thought), you could just listen politely to what I am telling you instead of being another Penelope. Consider yourself warned.