Last night, my friend, Chipper and I went to get Wendy's and while we were waiting in the drive through for our order, we were talking about phrases that are really funny, and one that made it high on the list was "body slam." Here are a few examples of this phrase being used in a sentence:*If you take that last french fry, I will body slam you.
*I am really sore today because I took the last french fry and then got body slammed.
*Chuck Norris can body slam you with his gaze.
Now that you understand more of the phrase, "body slam" in a contextual setting, you will see why this is so darn funny. Anywho, we were laughing pretty hard about it, but then we moved on . . . or so I thought.
Last night, I had dream that Mark Wahlberg was sassing me off. In my usual Pam Fashion, I was sassing him back, but in a sarcastic way. (I mean you have to be sarcastic. You can't be taking smack to him for real. Who really wants to get Mark Wahlberg P.O.ed? Instant Death Sentence.) Marky-Mark was having none of my sarcastic undertones, or overtones for that matter so things started to heat up. Finally, I told him that if he kept it up, I was going to body slam him. Obviously, my subconscious is an idiot. I don't know how it thought that I could take down a 200 pound muscle man, but I guess it's nice to know that my subconscious has a lot of faith in my scrapping abilities.
Well, obviously Mark couldn't pass up a fight, that would make him look yellow-bellied or 
however the kids call it these days, so he challenged me to an arm wrestling match. (Probably because he didn't want to hurt me that badly. I do bruise like a peach.) Now, I may have written about being a gym rat, but let's be honest, not many women have super strong upper bodies, unless you are Chyna, which I am not. Consequently, this is the part of the dream where I start to panic. I of course tell him that I would love to destroy him in an arm wresting match, but then proceed to think of all the reasons why I just can't do it at that moment. Finally, I realize, I have run out of options and it is time to buck up and face the music. I slowly shuffle over to the table where Mark has already gotten himself into position. His arm muscles are rippling, like they are laughing at my little biceps and triceps.
however the kids call it these days, so he challenged me to an arm wrestling match. (Probably because he didn't want to hurt me that badly. I do bruise like a peach.) Now, I may have written about being a gym rat, but let's be honest, not many women have super strong upper bodies, unless you are Chyna, which I am not. Consequently, this is the part of the dream where I start to panic. I of course tell him that I would love to destroy him in an arm wresting match, but then proceed to think of all the reasons why I just can't do it at that moment. Finally, I realize, I have run out of options and it is time to buck up and face the music. I slowly shuffle over to the table where Mark has already gotten himself into position. His arm muscles are rippling, like they are laughing at my little biceps and triceps.I grasp his hand and exert my force and . . . nothing happens. Marky-Mark's arm doesn't move a millimeter. Meanwhile, I have sweat beads collecting on my forehead that are threatening to spill onto our official arm match table. I woke up before Mr. Wahlberg annihilated me in our arm wresting match. Probably for the better. I guess my subconscious thinks I am wimpy after all and wanted to spare me the humiliation.
Moral of the story: just because the phrase body slam is awesome, be careful who you threaten. The phrase has extreme power and unleashing it on Mark Wahlberg is not smart. Pick the little wimpy guy on the bus instead. Your chances of succeeding in an actual body slam are greatly improved.
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