Mustaches and Mullets

Oh man. That is a loaded title, right? I mean these are two fantastically famous facial fashions! Obviously, I need to talk about them.

I feel like lately I have been noticing more men sporting just the mustache. Now, this could be because mustaches are awesome and maybe that is why I have been spotting them more, but it is just the 'stache. No beard. No chin strap. No Fu Manchu. Just the furry upper lip and I mean the ones who have a substantial furry upper lip at that. I just wanted to take a minute and talk about this. Maybe they have very sensitive upper lips that are easily chilled? Maybe they feel that the look has never lost it's luster since the late seventies? I remember my dad use to support the lone 'stache. Now he has a beard because he said he doesn't like to shave. I think that's kinda funny. Although, I should mention that I have never seen my dad without his mustache. I think I'd freak if I went to visit him and he was clean shaven. I'd probably make him take a test and ask him questions that only my dad would know so I could be sure it was truly him. This being said, I feel the need to explain that I am not knocking the 'stache. I mean, how could I when it was a part of my childhood?! I am including a picture that shows off my dad's great 'stache. (Top right)

Speaking of mullets (nice segway, I know) . . . why are people still choosing the mullet as their go-to hair style? At least with the 'stache only 50% of the population can grow facial hair . . . well, maybe 52% because I have seen some women with more than their allotted share of testosterone. But the mullet has spilled over to the female gender thus creating the fe-mullet. Umm . . . ex-squeeze me? Here's a thought: I think that when hair stylists get their licenses, it should be stated that anyone performing a mullet haircut will be extensively fined and repeat offenders will have their license revoked. That is probably a violation of freedom of expression . . . blah, blah, blah . . . I think FDR was in the dark about mullets when he blurted out the four freedoms during the Fireside Chats. Thanks a lot, Frank; if only you knew the can of worms you were opening. I wonder what tête à tête goes on when the Billy Ray Cyrus wanna-be walks into Great Clips and tells Brenda that he wants the business-in-front-party-in-back look. Does she need to bite her cheeks while she is draping the smock over him to keep from laughing? Are there stylists out there who look their clients in the mirror and bravely tell them no?

However, now that I have mentioned these famous hair styles, I also want to offer a bit of encouragement to those who rock this fashion. Most of us may not choose to get a mullet or a thick mustache, but don't you love it when you are walking down the street, enjoying life and you see someone with a mullet or a great 'stache? I mean, it's fantastic!! The hands-down best sight would be a curly mullet with sole mustache . . . which coincidentally, my Intro to Bible professor had when I was in college. Each time I went to class I had to make valid effort not to gawk at this strange, little, hairy man.

So, let's give a shout out to all those Tom Selleck and Sonny Bono posers who grow a giant caterpillar on their lip. Stand up for the twins of Uncle Jessie and Billy Ray Cyrus who love to sport the short in front, long in back. And, no, we haven't forgotten you gals who strive to be like Florence Henderson. Thank you for the fe-mullets. God Bless America.