Fan Mail - The VanDonkelaars

I have eleven followers (I know, I know, I basically can't even leave the house, lest I am bombarded by paparazzi) who read this blog religiously and are genuinely disappointed when I am absent from my craft. These people give me a huge head and make me feel super cool. Two of those people are my sister, Laura and her husband, Eric (well, technically, Eric isn't an official follower of my blog, but he probably asks me the most about future writings and generally tells Laura that there is a new posting, so I'll let it slide . . . for now). Laura and Eric will always comment on a new blog and also nagged me about writing more when I was on my maternity hiatus. I thought I would reward them by writing a blog all about them and since I am a fan of making lists (as the last two blogs have shown) I thought I would make a list of a few of the things I love about them as a thank you to being devoted followers. Laura and Eric, this one's for you.

1. The VanDonkelaar Language – If you watch Laura and Eric interact, you will probably hear a few words that you are unfamiliar with or thought meant something else. An example conversation may look something like this:

Eric: “Wow, I can’t believe you painted all these rooms while I was gone!”

Laura: “I know, do you like the colors?”

Eric: “I think they are really dank.”

Now, if you heard this conversation, you would probably think that Eric doesn’t like the new colors because to most people the word ‘dank’ means dark and damp, but according to Laura and Eric, this word means awesome. Rule of thumb, if you are every confused by what they are saying, look up the word in question on UrbanDictionary.com. Or you could ask them what it means and then feel really old when you hear the answer because it is apparently what "all the kids are saying."

2. Boom-Boom Chicken – About a week after Zachary was born Laura and Eric came down to visit us and wanted to make a dinner for us. They gave us three options and we chose the Boom-Boom Chicken. It is so delicious. Eric got busy frying up some chicken while Laura concocted the Boom-Boom sauce. If you haven’t had Boom-Boom sauce, it is a delicious combo of sweet and spicy and it is oh-so-good. I ate way too much that night and after that Laura and Eric have had a ton of requests for this meal. It is really time consuming though so they aren’t always thrilled to make it; however, they love to please a crowd. We were recently told that there would be a hold on the Boom-Boom chicken for a while, but I am hoping this little shout out makes them change their mind.

3. Hosts-with-the-Mosts – Troy and I went to visit Laura and Eric at their old apartment last winter and they pulled out all the stops for us. They made the guest room cozy and inviting; they had towels easily accessible and they went shopping to buy treats we would like. When Troy and I got up in the morning, we found a mini breakfast buffet waiting us. The coffee pot was all ready to brew with the touch of a button. There were coffee cups sitting out for us to use. The toaster was on the counter and next to it was a loaf of whole wheat bread, a new container of Nutella and a plate with a butter knife. Troy's favorite cereal was out and displayed and delicious creamers were available to accompany the coffee that was ready to be brewed. They made us a delicious dinner and showed us around town. We had a great time and are looking forward to our next visit.

How cute is this?

4. Height Factor – Ever since we were kids, Laura has pretty much always been taller than me. In fact, everyone thought she was the older one, which I use to hate and now I wouldn’t mind so much. Then she married a man who was even taller than she. When Laura was dating Eric, one of the pros was that she could wear heels with him. I personally love how tall Eric is. When I go to hug him, I think my head comes to his armpits and I feel like a little kid hugging my grandpa. That's a random one, but it's the truth.

5. B.F.F.s – Laura and I are super good friends, so when Troy came into the picture, he knew he had to get in good with Laura in order to stick around.  When Laura and Eric started dating, Eric not only had to get in good with me, but also with Troy. It turned out great and the four of us are really good friends. We love spending time with the VanDonkelaars and wish we lived closer so we could hang out with them more. There are lots of airports around the Cincinnati area . . . (hint, hint.)

There are obviously a ton of things I love about Eric and Laura that this blog simply could not contain. But since they are always giving me a big head, I thought I would return the favor to my number one fans. Thanks for making up 18% of my followers. To Laura and Eric!! Cheers!

Laura and Eric VanDonkelaar - Nonsense Fans

No Butts About It

However inappropriate this comment may be, I am just going to go for it. My husband has a great butt. I was once one of those people who thought it was gross when people would comment on how great a butt was. I thought that butts were strictly for utilitarian purposes – I think we all know what I am talking about here. Then I married the man with a shelf on his lower back side, and it is fantastic. I am pretty sure it’s okay to think about butts as long as they belong to your spouse. I am also pretty sure that my spouse would prefer me to get to my point of this blog rather than continue to divulge in the conversation of his rear end. So, I will move on . . . .

Aren't these two adorable?!

. . . To my son’s butt. He has the cutest little baby tushie and I love it. In my previous blog, I mentioned that Zachary has the same bedtime routine every night to help him get ready for his “long sleep.” Part of that routine is bath time. We take off his clothes and diaper and walk over to the bathtub. This is my favorite time of the day….nakey baby time. We always make a big deal about Zachary’s cute and chubby rump which he clenches en route to the bath. There is even a song that goes with this ritual. That is what happens when a cute baby butt is exposed. We were visiting my family at my parents’ lake house for Labor Day weekend and we even showed off his cute backside to his Uncle Eric and Aunt Laura, who also thought it was adorable – because it is.

That being said, I made a comment to Troy one night about how cute Zachary’s butt is to which he commented that I have – and I quote – “a very healthy butt-addiction.” It’s true, though only when it applies to my men. It’s not like I am thinking about random men’s/babies butts. To be honest, admitting my “healthy butt-addiction” is kind of a weird confession that I was not sure I should even blog about at all. I mean, who commits to writing a whole blog about butts? Well, I suppose I do so if I am going to do this, let’s do this right.  We were all made in different shapes and sizes and the “desired butt of choice” is different for everyone. Let’s talk about a few;

1. The Baby Butt – This butt is at the top because it is probably the cutest. Who can’t resist two tiny cheeks that normally don’t get to see the light of day because you are really flirting with danger by allowing a baby to freestyle.

2. The Significant Other Butt – This category has a large spectrum. This is basically the butt that catches your eye. Hopefully it is attached to your spouse, otherwise you are gonna get into trouble.

3. The Hairy Butt – Yep, I went here. I don’t think I really need to explain this one.

4. The J-Lo Butt – This is the butt I wish I had. This butt can fill out jeans like nobody’s business and looks great on a dance floor.

5. The No Butt – I would fall into this category. For some reason, my sister Laura and I got this gene. We don’t have butts. I like to say my butt is really just the tops of my legs. It seriously hurts if I am sitting too long because of a lack of padding. We get it from our grandpa who also is a No Butt and has to sit on a pillow.

I am sure right now you're thinking, "This blog could use some Sir Mix A Lot." And you would be right, so I found "Baby Got Back" compiled from different movies. You're Welcome.