No Butts About It

However inappropriate this comment may be, I am just going to go for it. My husband has a great butt. I was once one of those people who thought it was gross when people would comment on how great a butt was. I thought that butts were strictly for utilitarian purposes – I think we all know what I am talking about here. Then I married the man with a shelf on his lower back side, and it is fantastic. I am pretty sure it’s okay to think about butts as long as they belong to your spouse. I am also pretty sure that my spouse would prefer me to get to my point of this blog rather than continue to divulge in the conversation of his rear end. So, I will move on . . . .

Aren't these two adorable?!

. . . To my son’s butt. He has the cutest little baby tushie and I love it. In my previous blog, I mentioned that Zachary has the same bedtime routine every night to help him get ready for his “long sleep.” Part of that routine is bath time. We take off his clothes and diaper and walk over to the bathtub. This is my favorite time of the day….nakey baby time. We always make a big deal about Zachary’s cute and chubby rump which he clenches en route to the bath. There is even a song that goes with this ritual. That is what happens when a cute baby butt is exposed. We were visiting my family at my parents’ lake house for Labor Day weekend and we even showed off his cute backside to his Uncle Eric and Aunt Laura, who also thought it was adorable – because it is.

That being said, I made a comment to Troy one night about how cute Zachary’s butt is to which he commented that I have – and I quote – “a very healthy butt-addiction.” It’s true, though only when it applies to my men. It’s not like I am thinking about random men’s/babies butts. To be honest, admitting my “healthy butt-addiction” is kind of a weird confession that I was not sure I should even blog about at all. I mean, who commits to writing a whole blog about butts? Well, I suppose I do so if I am going to do this, let’s do this right.  We were all made in different shapes and sizes and the “desired butt of choice” is different for everyone. Let’s talk about a few;

1. The Baby Butt – This butt is at the top because it is probably the cutest. Who can’t resist two tiny cheeks that normally don’t get to see the light of day because you are really flirting with danger by allowing a baby to freestyle.

2. The Significant Other Butt – This category has a large spectrum. This is basically the butt that catches your eye. Hopefully it is attached to your spouse, otherwise you are gonna get into trouble.

3. The Hairy Butt – Yep, I went here. I don’t think I really need to explain this one.

4. The J-Lo Butt – This is the butt I wish I had. This butt can fill out jeans like nobody’s business and looks great on a dance floor.

5. The No Butt – I would fall into this category. For some reason, my sister Laura and I got this gene. We don’t have butts. I like to say my butt is really just the tops of my legs. It seriously hurts if I am sitting too long because of a lack of padding. We get it from our grandpa who also is a No Butt and has to sit on a pillow.

I am sure right now you're thinking, "This blog could use some Sir Mix A Lot." And you would be right, so I found "Baby Got Back" compiled from different movies. You're Welcome.