Fan Mail - The VanDonkelaars

I have eleven followers (I know, I know, I basically can't even leave the house, lest I am bombarded by paparazzi) who read this blog religiously and are genuinely disappointed when I am absent from my craft. These people give me a huge head and make me feel super cool. Two of those people are my sister, Laura and her husband, Eric (well, technically, Eric isn't an official follower of my blog, but he probably asks me the most about future writings and generally tells Laura that there is a new posting, so I'll let it slide . . . for now). Laura and Eric will always comment on a new blog and also nagged me about writing more when I was on my maternity hiatus. I thought I would reward them by writing a blog all about them and since I am a fan of making lists (as the last two blogs have shown) I thought I would make a list of a few of the things I love about them as a thank you to being devoted followers. Laura and Eric, this one's for you.

1. The VanDonkelaar Language – If you watch Laura and Eric interact, you will probably hear a few words that you are unfamiliar with or thought meant something else. An example conversation may look something like this:

Eric: “Wow, I can’t believe you painted all these rooms while I was gone!”

Laura: “I know, do you like the colors?”

Eric: “I think they are really dank.”

Now, if you heard this conversation, you would probably think that Eric doesn’t like the new colors because to most people the word ‘dank’ means dark and damp, but according to Laura and Eric, this word means awesome. Rule of thumb, if you are every confused by what they are saying, look up the word in question on UrbanDictionary.com. Or you could ask them what it means and then feel really old when you hear the answer because it is apparently what "all the kids are saying."

2. Boom-Boom Chicken – About a week after Zachary was born Laura and Eric came down to visit us and wanted to make a dinner for us. They gave us three options and we chose the Boom-Boom Chicken. It is so delicious. Eric got busy frying up some chicken while Laura concocted the Boom-Boom sauce. If you haven’t had Boom-Boom sauce, it is a delicious combo of sweet and spicy and it is oh-so-good. I ate way too much that night and after that Laura and Eric have had a ton of requests for this meal. It is really time consuming though so they aren’t always thrilled to make it; however, they love to please a crowd. We were recently told that there would be a hold on the Boom-Boom chicken for a while, but I am hoping this little shout out makes them change their mind.

3. Hosts-with-the-Mosts – Troy and I went to visit Laura and Eric at their old apartment last winter and they pulled out all the stops for us. They made the guest room cozy and inviting; they had towels easily accessible and they went shopping to buy treats we would like. When Troy and I got up in the morning, we found a mini breakfast buffet waiting us. The coffee pot was all ready to brew with the touch of a button. There were coffee cups sitting out for us to use. The toaster was on the counter and next to it was a loaf of whole wheat bread, a new container of Nutella and a plate with a butter knife. Troy's favorite cereal was out and displayed and delicious creamers were available to accompany the coffee that was ready to be brewed. They made us a delicious dinner and showed us around town. We had a great time and are looking forward to our next visit.

How cute is this?

4. Height Factor – Ever since we were kids, Laura has pretty much always been taller than me. In fact, everyone thought she was the older one, which I use to hate and now I wouldn’t mind so much. Then she married a man who was even taller than she. When Laura was dating Eric, one of the pros was that she could wear heels with him. I personally love how tall Eric is. When I go to hug him, I think my head comes to his armpits and I feel like a little kid hugging my grandpa. That's a random one, but it's the truth.

5. B.F.F.s – Laura and I are super good friends, so when Troy came into the picture, he knew he had to get in good with Laura in order to stick around.  When Laura and Eric started dating, Eric not only had to get in good with me, but also with Troy. It turned out great and the four of us are really good friends. We love spending time with the VanDonkelaars and wish we lived closer so we could hang out with them more. There are lots of airports around the Cincinnati area . . . (hint, hint.)

There are obviously a ton of things I love about Eric and Laura that this blog simply could not contain. But since they are always giving me a big head, I thought I would return the favor to my number one fans. Thanks for making up 18% of my followers. To Laura and Eric!! Cheers!

Laura and Eric VanDonkelaar - Nonsense Fans

Intense Super Fan

This weekend was Bethel University's homecoming. (Whoot, whoot! Go Royals!!) Being that Troy and I both went to Bethel and live close to campus, we have gone to the homecoming game every year we have been married and even a few when we were dating. I love the school spirit and the traditions of coming back for homecoming, and Troy likes the football. It's a win-win.

Homecoming is always a crazy game. You have to get to campus early to get a parking space, and then fight the crowds for a spot in the bleachers. This year was the first year we sat on the "parents' side." At Royal Stadium, on the home bleachers side, if you are facing the field, the students sit on the left. The parents and alumni sit on the right side. This year we didn't sit with the current students. I think we are too old . . . (sigh)

So, we joined the other old people on the left side of the bleachers and we were sitting behind two men who were constantly talking during the game. I learned that the one particularly vocal man went to Bethel when he was in college and also played on the football team. He loved to remissness about the "good ole days" when he was 187 pounds and couldn't keep any weight on him. Or about the game where he was up against a big guy who wasn't in shape and so he just kept tackling the overweight football player in his gut until he wore him out. His stories were interesting as they were humbly-pompous. He would talk about how awesome he was and then make a comment that brought him down to the status of a mere man.

He also loved to talk to the football players on the field as though they could hear him. A few choice phrases he used were: "Come on, beef," "You have to want it," and my personal favorite, "Come on Bethel, you gotta throw the kitchen sink at 'em." (I actually typed these into my Droid as he said them so I wouldn't forget.) Being that I was sitting in front of him and I couldn't very well turn around for a viewing in a conspicuous matter, I made a visual of what he might look like. I figured he was a typical football alum dad who was wearing a Brooks Brothers oxford under his Bethel windbreaker drinking a Caribou coffee. But when the game was over and I turned around to see him, I saw a man who resembled Milton from Office Space. He was wearing worn out black sneakers, light washed jeans and a cheap, felt version of an Indiana Jones hat, complete with a draw string for those windy days. He didn't fit the humbly-pompous man that I thought was sitting behind me.

While I reveled in his "new" look, I thought about how this man or someone like him is present at every sporting event ever organized. Even back in 80 AD, some Roman would be shouting in the Colosseum on the best ways to kill the lion, gladiator, what-have-you and talking about the time he slayed a barbarian when he was in college. Why is it that people feel the need to fluff up their peacock feathers and talk about what they did back in the day as it pertains to the sport? Why do these people have to shout out advice to the players and coaching staff? I personally think they are hoping the head coach will overhear them and beg for them to be on their coaching staff. Afterall, their knowledge is clearly superior.