Hibernation

Troy and I miss some parts of our Minnesota lives. We miss our friends, Calvary Church, a delicious Juicy Lucy from the 5-8 Club (yeah that's right all you Matt's fans, we have sworn our allegiance to the 5-8!); but there is one thing that makes living in Cincinnati so fabulous, and it is the weather. We have been enjoying above freezing temperatures for weeks now. Our grass is green, our trees are budding and I have beautiful white flowers on my magnolia tree. Our season of hibernation has ended with the renewal of spring!

Many people have a ritual of "spring cleaning" once Old Man Winter leaves. I have never done that because I can't stand to have needless clutter in my house, so "spring cleaning" happens almost every week. However, I do have a ritual which is performed each spring. My ritual is shaving my legs. You read that right. Shaving throughout the winter seems pointless. Ladies, can I get an "Amen!"? Once I get out of the shower, I get cold and the goosebumps run rapid all over my legs, pushing the hair back up and out on the surface of my skin. Sometimes my goosebumps get goosebumps! So, during the winter months, (I am going to get personal with you here) I will shave about once a week - that is about how long it takes for the hair to rub against my jeans and gross me out. Once the weather starts to get nice, I want to pull out my shorts or don a dress, and the fur that once kept me warm through the winter, is somewhat unappealing and unnecessary. 

Another thing that is unappealing are the extra pounds that seemed to have taken up residence on my body without even signing a lease first. I tell Troy that it is harder to lose weight in the winter because your body is trying to stay warm by holding on to extra fat. I know that is a bunch of malarkey, but doesn't it sound nice? And it would explain why all those movie starts are so skinny, living in sunny L.A. Once the weather warms up and I am no longer able to hide under my bulky sweaters, I realize that I need to shed the pounds as well as my furry stems and if we are being honest, I am hoping that my hairy legs are the culprits for the scale showing are larger number.

Of course the final part of coming out of hibernation would entail my wardrobe. Spring is a tricky season. You wake up in the morning to temperatures in the upper 40's or lower 50's, but then by the afternoon it is in the 70's so essentially you need to plan two outfits for the day and they need to be layered. This leads every woman to look at all her clothes hanging in her closet and bemoan that she has nothing to wear, much to the confusion of their male counterpart.

This spring has not only brought me the tri-fecta of issues coming out of hibernation but I feel like they are exponentially more challenging. This is my first spring with my sweet baby boy, who will be turning one at the end of May. Shaving my legs while trying to figure out how to take care of a baby seemed even less worth the effort during the winter months. Despite my daily cardio routine, baby fat has not only signed a lease, but also gave me first and last month's deposit. (I am told these pounds will melt off after I wean Z from nursing - that had better be true.) And due to this post-prego body, my wardrobe isn't really thrilling me these days.

However, even as I type this, I am looking out my window and seeing a gorgeous sunny day, our pear tree full of leaves and flowers and my cloth diapers swinging in the breeze as they dry in the spring sunshine. With my laptop resting on my furry legs, a muffin top spilling over my frumpy clothes, these woes don't seem so bad when I look out the window. Halleluiah! We are out of hibernation! Welcome Spring!

Loving the Spring Sunshine!

Things that Annoy Me

Can I be honest with you here? I mean, we're all friends, right? This past month has been kinda rough on me. Because of this, I feel like I am in a crab mode, which is unusual because I am usually a cheerful lass who can pull herself up by the britches and put on a smile. Anyway, due to my lack of normal glee, I decided to write a blog about things that are annoying. Plus, this can be a fun game. One time, my sister and my friend, Geoff, came up to Minnesota to visit me while I was in college. On our way home to Chicago, we played the "I Hate" game. It is really simple. One person lists something that they hate . . . well, that is really the only direction. The funny thing is that the other two people would generally chime in with agreement. This game is actually very entertaining, though negative. It did however, keep us occupied until we got to the Illinois state line.

1. "Come on, give me a smile!" I really hate this. I'll be walking down the hall at my school - perfectly content with life - and someone will say, "Smile, Pam! It's not that bad!" I think to myself, I wasn't even in a crabby mood until you said that, but now I want to punch you in the baby maker. Just because I am not grinning a toothy grin 24/7, doesn't mean something is wrong. My relaxed face is apparently very menacing. Thank you for drawing attention to it.

2. Pro Athletes that are Ivy League Grads. This is so irritating to me. These meat heads get a scholarship to hump a pigskin ball and they don't even take any courses that would valuable for life. It is just a means to get to the NFL. Meanwhile, people like me study their butts off and drool over financial aid packages that we never see. Bears quarterback, Jay Culter went to Vanderbilt. You can't tell me he would get into that school on academics alone. Ugh . . . and he is dating Kristin Cavillari. But that is another blog for another time. **Side Note: While we are on the subject of Jay Culter, I also hate how he wears the helmet on his head like in this picture. Either keep it on, or carry it. You look like a darn fool.**

3. Futuristic "I told you so". When I was engaged and at my showers, I would always hear something along the lines of, "Oh, just wait until you are married, then you'll . . . . gain weight, not care about how you look, stop making home-cooked meals, etc." Now that I'm married, I hear, "Oh, just wait until you get pregnant, then you . . . . won't be able to tie your shoes, have to pee all the time, be sick for six months, etc.) You get the idea. I feel like I am being lectured for not living as long as these others who feel the need to rub future (and not always true) problems in my young face. Can I just have these life experiences when I am at that life stage, please?

4. Shaving, then Freezing. I shaved my legs today. After I finished showering, I turned off the water, opened the curtain and my legs immediately got goosebumps. Well, shaving was now a big, fat, waste of time. Awesome.

5. Interrupters. This is more of a pet peeve that turns into an extreme annoyance. It's like what I am saying is not important. My students do this all the time. I generally look and them and say, "I'm sorry, I think I was talking." Sassy? Yes. Effective? Sort of, but this offense will most definitely happen again. I am always surprised when adults have this bad habit. So frustrating. Maybe I should just start talking to them like I do to my students. Look out, I might bust out the sassiness on your interrupting souls!

6. Middle Seats and Men. Normally sitting in the middle of two men would be awesome. UNLESS you are on a plane. Then it stinks. This is because men like to sit spread-eagle and very rarely are you sitting next to someone who is good looking. The only time I am lucky enough to sit next to a hottie is when I fly with Troy. At least then I can ask him to try and close his knees a little so I can reach my backpack.

7. Cell Phones and the Gym. Do I even need to elaborate? If you are at the gym, leave your cell in your locker or in your car. Nobody wants to hear your conversation while you lazily move your legs on the elliptical, unsuccessfully pretending to work out.

8. Defective Carts. With out fail, every time I go to Target to do my weekly grocery shopping, I always seem to choose the cart that has an invisible boulder on one or more of the wheels. I know it's invisible because when I check the wheels, I can't find anything. Then I slowly push the cart forward as though the perpetrator might sneak out. I never find him. Then I give up and just go with it . . . but I hating it all the time. I think sometimes the wheels openly mock me.

9. When people pronounce the 's' in Illinois. It's silent, people.

10. Time left on the Microwave. This is more of an issue due to the fact that I am anal, but I am so annoyed when people use the microwave and they take their food out before the timer beeps and then they leave that time up there. They don't clear it out for the next person. I think it's so irritating. Similar to when you are at the gym and the meat heads don't take their monstrous weights off the bar. Clear it out for the next person!

Well, there you go. A few things that annoy me. Maybe some of my comments will resonate with you and together we can fight these annoyances. I will sign petitions, make posters, and talk to my congressman if it helps. But in all honestly, I'll probably be too lazy to do that. It's easier just to whine in a blog.

To be Furry or Not to be Furry

Troy and I have two cats. Olivia is three and Molly is one. We got Olivia right after we were married and she is basically the best cat ever. She loves to snuggle and greet visitors at the door, with whom she instantly befriends so she would make a terrible "guard-cat." Molly is basically a sweet cat; she likes to force you to pet her by shoving her head in your hand. She has a ton of energy since she is still has a lot of kitten in her and besides the fact she likes to poop right outside the litter box, we love her too.

Now that the background knowledge is out of the way, our cats have recently spurred on another moment of "Pam-sense." Wouldn't it be weird to be completely cover in fur? I mean, part of me feels like I would kind of know what it's like since I have a lot of hair myself and on humid days, it seems to procreate, but still weird, right? I mean Olivia and Molly have hair everywhere but inside their mouths, their eyes, their noses and their paw pads. They even have hair in between their toes! I can't even go three or four days without shaving my legs!

My husband is an avid Blackhawks fan so he grew out a playoff beard. He was so relieved when after a month he could finally shave it off. I wonder if pets ever look up at us and think, "Geeze, it's hot in here. Could you pass me your razor when you're done with it?" If Olivia and Molly knew that women shave their legs and underarms, I wonder if they would want a crack at it. I would probably keel right over if I came home and their armpits and legs were totally shaven while the rest of their body was still furry. Ha ha!! That thought makes me laugh right now!! Moral of the story: maybe offer your hair-removing tools to your pets-let them decide: to be furry or not to be furry.