Blubber

The winter holidays are officially over. My parents started putting some of the Christmas decorations away, the New Years Eve party plates were cleaned up and the Carlson Duo (Troy and me) are getting ready to return to the Twin Cities after a nice long vacation with family. That basically translates into me being a hot mess while driving away from my parents' house. I knew it was coming, I mean the holidays can't last forever, but every time I leave their house, I am a blubbering fool.

This entire trip has been a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants kind of trip as far as planning goes, which is actually kind of unusual for us. So, when my mom asked me this morning what our plans were for today, it was a valid question. It was also the kind of question that makes me aggressively clear my throat multiple times as I try to contain the tears that are threatening to spill over because the answer to her question is that we are leaving soon. My family knows how I operate. All at once I started hearing words of encouragement - with the exception of Laura's boyfriend whom I probably made very uncomfortable but probably was not surprised due to the similarities that Laura and I share in the emotional department.

"Eric and I will come up and visit sometime in February!! That is right around the corner!" Laura said.
"Dad, Beck and I are going to plan a trip up next time Rebecca has a long weekend off from school! Won't that be fun?!" My mom offered.
"If we have snow, you can come back for Presidents' Day and go snowmobiling!" My dad suggested.

Though these are great offers, they didn't stop the tears and I quickly hugged my family and left before my blubbering got out of control. Then I cried all the way to the Carlson's house where we were spending the day before trekking back up north. Thankfully, I have an understanding husband who lets me cry and pats my leg as I try to inconspicuously try to dab at my eyes, collecting the rogue tears who escaped.

I have heard the phrase that families are like fish, after a few days they start to stink. Sometimes that is true. Sometimes going home can be hard for me because after all, I am a grown up now and I do things my own way at home and have to have my whole motherboard reprogrammed when I go back home. But then things start to fall into place and new patterns start - thus cue me crying about not being able to drink my Dunkin Donuts coffee with my mom and Laura in the mornings.

I guess the moral of the story is that no matter how old you get, sometimes all you want is your mom and dad. In the spirit of trying not to dwell on what is over, I am going to take this opportunity to comment on some personal highlights of our Christmas vacation:

1. Troy's parents gave us the whole Willow Tree nativity set which I am thinking about setting up for the month of January just because I love it so much.

2. Laura and I started saying, "Yak!" every time we thought something was disgusting. The correct way to perform this is to lean over and pretend to yak while you say "yak." It's funny.

3. Mama K and Fussy Pops gave me a sewing machine for Christmas. I am already envisioning my new fall line.

4. I laughed so hard at Troy while we were at the cabin that I keeled over in the hallway. Complete loss of motor functions.

5. Wings Etc.

6. Hitting up Kalamazoo. Yes, there really is a Kalamazoo. Every time I am there, I think of Tim Allen, one of many reasons why I love that town.

7. Playing Speed Scrabble with Mom and Dad and adding new words to my lexicon that my dad made up.

8. Golf cart rides around the lake.

9. Melissa Mladinic.

10. Enjoying the use of a shower that is no farther than four feet from our room. This one is huge, we are already spoiled to this luxury.

Family Stick Figures

If you know my dad at all, you would know that saying he is a car buff would be an understatement. I grew up with my dad giving my sister and I basic "rules" for our cars. Number one, wash your car regularly. Number two, check your oil often. Number three, NEVER put stickers on your car. I will be honest, rules number one and two were not always on my radar. **Side Note: I hate checking my oil and would only do it when I got the 'Dad-Look.' Now that I live on my own, I don't even know the last time I personally checked my oil. Eek!** However, rule number three has always stuck with me. I would MAYBE put one sticker on my car if I thought it was super cool and worthy enough to break my rule. I feel the same way about tattoos. Needless to say I do not have a sticker on my car nor do I have a tattoo. It might be a fear of commitment of ink . . . that might be another blog topic.

Getting back to the issue at hand, I think in general bumper stickers devalue your car. It's a personal opinion . . . not to be confused with my personal taboo facts; i.e. socks with sandals, ketchup on hotdogs, etc. Lately Troy and I have been noticing the family stick figure stickers, generally on mini vans and the giant SUVs that scream, "I will plow you over if you make me late for my kid's soccer game." I am sure you've seen them. They are ridiculous. As if the bumper sticker that said, "My kid's on the Honor Roll at Orland Jr High School" wasn't geeky enough, the bumper sticker companies decided to up the ante. They have become more versatile now, too. I have seen sea turtles, smilie faces, even flip flops depicting each member of the family. Sometimes you'll even get their surname underneath. Giant white letters, letting you know who you can call by name should you decided to chuck water balloons at their car. "Take this middle, sized girl in the Smith Family!"

You can also get them custom designed so you can share with the perfect strangers you are driving past, some of your favorite hobbies. "Hmm, I see that the oldest Miller boy in that Dodge Caravan is interested in skiing. Wow, I will never get those five seconds back that I wasted thinking about that." Anyone who has a pet will know that you can't leave them out of the family equation, so you can choose your furry or slimy creature who has touched your heart - alive or dead, yes, I'm serious. Anything from the family favorite Fido to ferrets, hedgehogs and goats can be added as a decal. Which brings me to another question, who the heck has a hedgehog for a pet? Or a goat for that matter? So many comments, so little Google gigabytes to collect them.

I decided to look into designing a decal for my family. I made Troy a super hero because it's awesome and I think he would look great in a cape. I made me a hula dancer because I rock at the hula and then of course I had to add Olivia and Molly. I also wanted to include our beloved goldfish, McCain, may he rest in peace due to a stressful evening where my friend, Becca may have been the cause of his demise. The best part was designing the figures and I have to say, that was mildly amusing, but I am certainly not going to cough up the $38.75 plus shipping and handling to become another lame-o on the road with an overpriced sticker.

All this to say, when I see you driving down the road with your stick family plastered to your rear window, you should know I am making fun of you . . . openly. Does this make me a better person? Absolutely not. But it does help to build up my endorphins and is amusing for me. Just know when you order those stick figure stickers, baby on board signs, honor roll awareness stickers, etc, and stick them on your car, you are a heartbeat away from wearing white Keds, a jean skirt and a fanny pack, driving around in a mini van. If that isn't enough to snap you back to reality, heaven help you, it may be too late.