Remember when we were kids, how we were surrounded by positive reinforcement? I remember having sticker charts everywhere I turned. We had one at home for chores - when I cleaned my room, I got to put a sticker up on our chart we had hanging in the laundry room. We had one at school - when I read a certain number of books, I got to put a sticker up on the chart in our classroom. We had one at church - when I recited my Bible verse for the week, I got to put a sticker next to my name. It was great. All those charts led to a bigger reward, albeit a small allowance, a paperback book or a piece of candy, but really - I just loved the sticker. If that would have been the whole reward, I would have been just as happy. I especially loved it when I got to choose the sticker. The smilie faces were fun; I always liked the "girl" looking faces with big lips and eye lashes. Sometimes there were stickers with different phrases which were nice because they were bigger; but my favorite stickers were the metallic stars. They came on a sheet with four different colors, red, silver, blue and gold. I always chose silver or gold first, then the red and lastly the blue. The blue ones didn't seem as shiny. Of course my OCD would kick in, even as a kid and it would drive me crazy if I had 5 gold stars, one blue and then 3 more gold stars. I thought about asking if I could peel off the blue sticker and replace it with a gold one, but even as a child, I knew this was weird.
As a grown up, I have often wished that sticker charts continued to follow us as we navigate through our day. How many times have you been bogged down with a ton of assignments in college or at work and actually got them all done? Wouldn't have been great for your professor or your boss to tell you to go to choose a sticker from the sticker bucket and stick it next to your name? How satisfying would that be? I am telling you, it would definitely boost employee moral.How about those times when you get all those little chores that you have been putting off finally complete. Like you actually get the old magazines out to recycling, or organize that closet you have been putting off. Where is the reward for that? Nobody even notices your work!
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| Me and Z when he was only 1 week old. |
Never have I wanted a sticker chart more than when I became a mom. The plan was always for me to go back to work after Zachary was born. Troy knew better, but being a the smart and sensitive hubby that he is, he let me continue to live in this fantasy world while I was pregnant and ranting on and on about how I was a "career woman" and I didn't go get my masters to just "sit at home". Oh. My. Goodness. Pre-pregnant Pam and Post-Pregnant Pam were two very different people. I learned how wrong I was because after Zachary was born, I have never experienced that kind of emotional and physical exhaustion in my life. You hear people say all that time that being a parent is the hardest job in the whole world, and it's true except you don't get paid and you never clock out, so the term "job" doesn't really do it justice. It's more like a life sentence - but in a good way - well, sometimes.
The first two months of parenting were brutal, but then we got into a routine and I fell in love with my new role. I realized that my maternity leave was rapidly coming to an end and I started to have little panic attacks about going back to work which would usually end in tears. Zachary would always look up at me and give me a look like "Mom, why does your face look all scrunchy and why are your eyes all wet?" I decided that I needed to figure out a way to stay home to care for our son so I connected with a family who needed part-time day care for their son who is three weeks older than Zachary. I will admit, this is the hardest "job" I have ever had. I basically have twins for two and a half days. I desperately want to give each boy one-on-one attention but I can't always. It seems like every time I am feeding one of them, the other has a hissy fit. One will spit up and just when I finish cleaning it up, the other one decides to spit up too. On the days where I have both boys, most of the day, I am busier than a one-armed wall paper hanger. (That is one of my dad's favorite clichés.) But even when I get overwhelmed, I can always look over and see my sweet Zachary and I think to myself, 'I could be at a job right now where I don't get to see him at all,' and somehow the good Lord gives me a little boost and we make it out just fine. Most of these days, I wish I had a sticker chart. I would give myself a shiny gold (or silver) star for a lot of the accomplishments of the day.
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| Bath Time! I love it when Z shows off his lips! |
Even on days when it is just me and Zachary, it is still a lot of work. I want to be present during his awake times so I am on the floor playing and cooing with him. While he is napping I need to get the endless laundry taken care of which has grown exponentially because we use cloth diapers. ( P.S. cloth diapers are awesome and I cannot sing enough praise about them. Plus, we are not dropping all the cash on disposables!) I also need to do whatever cleaning I can squeeze in and try to feed myself (which sometimes doesn't happen) and attempt to get dinner ready. One day, I washed Zachary's laundry and diapers, hung the diapers to dry, made my homemade spaghetti sauce from scratch, baked brownies using a recipe I found on Pinterest, folded and put away Z's clean laundry and found time to be with Troy in the evening instead of going to bed early. Where was my gold sticker for that? I felt so accomplished getting all that done - in ONE day! (This is not an everyday occurrence, post baby but I am working on my juggling skills.)
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| A few Four Square Badges |
This idea of having a grown up sticker chart isn't really all that strange. There are tons of apps on smart phones today where you get badges after accomplishing something. Troy and I were really into the Four Square app for a while and still check into places now and there are two reasons why we loved this app. First, we often get good deals when we use the app, like a free drink, a half price appetizer or something to that nature. Secondly, you get badges. There are badges for everything from going to so many coffee houses to being out late on a school night. We try to collect as many as we can. Why? Because when you check into a place and unlock a new badge, it feels like you're in elementary school again. You get to put a sticker next to your name that announces to everyone, I WAS AWESOME!
Some day I will have a sticker chart hanging in my home with Zachary and company's names written down the margin. They will earn stickers for responsibilities Troy and I expect them to do to be an active part of our family. Don't be surprised if you see my name at the bottom of the chart with gold stars next to my chores. And yes, if we run out and I have to use the blue stars, my OCD is still going to flare up, but at least I will have still earned my star and got to put a sticker next to my name again.
